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May-June 1981,
Afghanistan
Skirmishes,
Hind helicopters and plenty of firepower. The Afghans were
still in the stone age, speaking from a military perspective.
Vadim relished the slaughter. Come low over the hilltops,
blow the shit up, then go in to kill the survivors. Men, women,
children, fucking goats and sheep, nothing moved nor breathed
when he was finished with a place. Tossing the poison canisters
into their precious wells after the deed.
Those
places would be forgotten, nobody would return there, and
nobody could survive there. Another marking on the map: We
encountered enemy forces, here, there and there, and he was
being generous with the term 'forces'. Vadim drank moonshine,
every now and then, there was no other way to wind down, no
other way but to fall over from exhaustion after the slaughter.
The occasional interrogation, their Afghani translator did
a good job of not showing how much he was scared. Too bad
he couldn't kill that fucker - he annoyed him, the polished
Russian the man spoke, and then the Pushtu in the next heartbeat.
The beast inside raged, and it was a lot of fun, the mindless
raging and destroying, making sure these places, these people
were wiped out.
Take
the war into the mountains; create secure zones for transport,
troop movement, and demonstrate superior strength.
One day
they acquired a new target, another village, half nestled
into a valley, and the military machinery once more sprang
into action. Vadim took a sniping position, and everybody
was ready for carnage. It grew on a man. It was better than
being penned in at the barracks. He'd come to fight a war,
not to jerk off in the toilets in Kabul.
Vadim
signalled. The radio guy relayed the order.
Then,
like something impossibly beautiful, and at the same time
dreadful in an insectoid way, the Hinds closed in, gunships,
flying tanks. Unleashed technological might. The village was
protected enough down in the valley that not all rockets would
hit. That was what gas was for, and Vadim's men.
Vadim
remained prone, watched the stage play down below. Fucking
place couldn't be reached with tanks. And those villagers
were helping the enemy, providing food, water, and above all,
rest. Courage. 'The partisan needs to swim like a fish among
fish to thrive'. What the Kremlin was trying to do was to
dry up the ocean. And this was yet another drop. Increasingly,
his superiors were starting to get interested in intelligence.
If he could provide any - and that was why he was here. Paratrooper
Vadim Krasnorada. Directly reporting to the KGB.
Vadim's
body armour constricted his chest, his heart beat so hard.
Radio signals, his men advancing, quickly, everybody pumped
up after the waiting. He was ready.
* * * * * * *
Dan had
been training those goat-fucking losers, been fighting with
the frustration of setting up a guerrilla force without the
resources of an organised military machinery, but he thrived
on the job. It was a challenge, and he fucking loved a challenge.
He'd
seen what the Soviets had done in too many villages already.
Not just killing the men, taking out the Mujahideen, he accepted
that. Bloody necessities of war, just one of these things.
Death and destruction. He'd seen it many times. Not so for
those bastard Russians. They couldn't be satisfied with brimstone
and fire, they killed every living soul. Women, children,
poisoned the wells and slaughtered the livestock. He had seen
the burnt earth, and the stench of rotting flesh remained
in his nostrils.
Fuckers.
The last
two days had been fairly good, at last finding an intact village,
friendly to them and with drinkable water. They were cautious,
staying inside the cradle of houses, watching the women and
children and old men go about their work outside. At last
they were able to get some rest, food, water, sleep. Dan had
been going on empty for too long, stamina pulling him through,
but his so-called freedom fighters hadn't been trained enough.
Not yet, perhaps never.
Dan was
scanning the horizon with binoculars, lying on the ground
while smoking one of those Russian coffin nails that mistakenly
labelled themselves as cigarettes.
Suddenly
the shape of a Hind appeared, the sound travelling far behind.
"Fuck!" Hissed, adrenaline shot into his body like
a junky got his cocaine. This time it was for real.
Dan stayed
on the ground, moved as fast as he could while ducking, relaying
the danger the moment he was in ear shot.
"Russian
attack! Get them out! Out!"
Villagers.
Women, children, fucking peasants, none of them having a goddamned
clue what any of this was about.
"No!"
Dan was running, shouting. Rifle in his hands, safety off,
ready to kill if those bastards ever dared to show themselves.
"Leave here!" Knew it was useless, those fucking
goat-herders would never understand the way the Soviets fought
their wars. Human life? They didn't give a shit. Civilians?
They were there to be used as target practice. Geneva convention?
A fucking piece of fucking useless jokes. He hated those Russian
bastards.
Targets
galore, the women now screaming and screeching, running like
headless chickens and black, panicking birds, with their torn
wings fluttering frightened. Children crying, men shouting.
Mayhem, panic and hell, he tried what he could to bring those
useless peasants into some semblance of order.
Shooting,
running, blindly reacting.
* * * * * * *
They
swarmed like a poked anthill. Vadim trained his rifle on a
woman - fucking black crows in their head-to-toe veils. Pulled
the trigger. Legshot. They would try to save her. Bind the
enemies' resources, even if this enemy didn't' have any. He
found a new target, yet another one he'd wound, not kill.
They
had killed Sasha. Vadim had received the letter a week ago,
and it had been a bunch of fucking partisans. Sasha who had
dared ask him something absolutely impossible, and absolutely
human. And he had agreed.
He had
agreed because he knew what Sasha had felt, and Sasha was
a comrade, even more, Sasha. He knew what Katya went through,
felt almost envious for the thing between her and him. And
he wasn't sure which of the two were more important - his
death had made Sasha larger, looming in his mind.
Please,
we need to talk, Sasha had said. Vadim had feared he wanted
to talk about that night, that fucking risk to bring him home,
home to meet the wife, drink and eat together. Ended up in
bed, a mass of limbs, a strange harmony, two men, his wife.
Risky as hell, irresistible.
Please,
Vadim, let her go.
The Hind
closed in, fired the rockets. Reduce this town to rubble,
then move in and kill everything. The ant hill was on fire.
You
know I respect you. But I love your wife. I love her son.
The way
Sasha did neither say 'my son', nor 'your son'. Whoever's
son it was, ultimately, it was her kid, and Sasha would love
him just the same.
Much
better match than the spetsnaz and the fencer. Sasha was a
pilot. He was far away from the worst of it. Far away enough
to not get blinded by dust.
Please,
Vadim, let her go. I'll owe you so much more than I can repay
you, ever.
He squeezed
the trigger, purely mechanical. Remembered Sasha's body between
him and his wife, remembered every motion, every whispered
word. One night, and then another.
He had
brought Sasha home do to just that.
Sasha
had his blood type.
The attack
was like the fucking rifle range. Targets popped up, shoot,
reload, shoot again. It was like shooting rabbits, only that
these rabbits moved in straight lines. The village exploded,
rockets sending fire and death, Vadim could feel the heat
on his face, and it warmed him in so many ways. Sasha.
This
is for Sasha, and our son. He bared his teeth, while his men
advanced into the village to finish the job, his was to be
overwatch, a remote killer, every bullet a hit, just like
in training. He was a damn good marksman, his shooting much
better even than the swimming or the fencing.
Legs
spread to stabilize him on the ground, cover behind rocks,
much better vantage point than anybody else had. The Dragunov
vastly powerful, but exactly what saved the day over long
distances; he preferred it to the other sniper rifles.
He didn't
have time to watch them or wonder how and where to strike,
he just did, took them down, one by one, especially when they
came to help or rescue the wounded. Sniper games. Hurt one
so they scream, and take out everybody that comes in to help.
Like tying a bleeding sheep to a tree in a forest full of
wolves.
*
* * * * * *
Horror
and death all around Dan, it was no good, they had all lost
their heads when the children started dying, small heads exploding
into blood, gore and splattering brains, sending the remaining
Afghani into a frenzy of panic and shock. He had to leave
them, their fates were sealed.
Crouching
on the ground, Dan used every scrap of cover the barren ground
could offer, scanning the slaughter and mayhem for the only
one constant: the sniper. Tracing the path towards the cold-blooded
marksman.
Dan moved,
close to the ground. Rifle in his hands, snaking forward on
his belly. The chaos around him was protecting him.
He stopped.
Watched. There. The sniper had to be hiding behind the low
formation of rocks. Dan turned sideways to reach the hornet's
nest from behind.
Unseen,
unheard, unlike the Russian killer.
He knew
he was getting closer, could sense it, that goddamned sixth
sense that had warned him that night in Kabul but he had ignored
it. He didn't ignore it now and he'd take out that arsehole.
If there was one thing he hated, one thing his comrades, mates
and superiors were unified in loathing, it was those fucking
enemy snipers. Humans were nothing but moving targets, a carnage
that was going far beyond anything that made sense in a motherfucking
war acted out along rules he'd never encountered before.
Closer,
ever closer he got, finally reaching the rock formation, silently
creeping behind. Heart racing, mind razor sharp, senses alert.
Adrenaline coursing through his body, one false movement and
the Russian marksman would be warned.
Another
silent movement, slow, creeping, pulling himself closer, and
then
immediate recognition.
"You
fucking cunt!"
Anger
exploded. Dan jumped onto his feet, swung the rifle, butt
first. Movement, words, hatred, all in one heartbeat. No thoughts,
just action. The sniper was in the process of turning, his
hand going for the pistol at his side, but the rifle came
down on the Russian's head before he could even taken another
breath.
Dan wasn't
thinking. Didn't have a fucking clue why he hadn't just killed
the bastard when he had the perfect chance. Would have rid
the world of some pondlife cocksucking piece of scum. Didn't
know, didn't care, was only action.
The mayhem
was starting to quieten down, no more lives left to kill.
Dan's rabble unit of insurgents had been wiped out, and so
had old men, young children and countless women. All of them.
He didn't feel much for them, he was just doing his duty with
goat-herders who had no meaning to him - expendable lives
for all he was concerned, but he despised the Soviet war crime.
Genocide. Fucking genocide.
He'd
make the Russian bastard pay for this mess, but first he'd
get the arsehole to experience the excruciating moments of
fear, feeling the muzzle pressed into the base of his neck.
'Da-svi-da-niya, fucker'.
Dan didn't
have much time, wasn't sure how long his enemy would remain
unconscious, and how long it would take his comrades to look
for him. Hastily checking the prone body for weapons, he grabbed
pistol, rifle, knives that were easily found, secured them
on his own person. 'Always prepared', and he grinned coldly
to himself, while securing the cable tie tightly around the
Russkie's thick wrists, arms behind the broad back, doing
the same with the ankles. He couldn't take any chances, he
had to get away for now.
Wrestling
the lifeless bulk onto his shoulders in a fireman's grip,
he nearly broke down, staggered, but sheer determination and
something sickeningly cold-sliding slithering through the
pits of his stomach kept him upright. He picked up both rifles
and started to walk. Away, to a place where he could let lose
that poisonous hatred and gain his revenge.
*
* * * * * *
The Hinds
touched down while Dan was escaping with his prize, more men
emerged, some of them carried flamethrowers to wash the villagers
out of their cellars and hiding holes under the huts and in
the rock. Cleaning out some places with hand grenades, then
continuing to kill the wounded, men, women, children. They
worked quickly, knowing that news spread fast over the barren
wasteland, somehow. None of them wanted to be there by nightfall.
Gathering
what they could carry and their kit of course, the fact the
Captain was missing became apparent. No trace from his position,
nobody had seen anything, heard anything. The absence of blood
and kit could mean he had changed position, or was simply
gone. Some felt there had to be enemies around, and they were
eager to get back into the copters. They sent out a search
party, but evening fell, and with it the hollow, deep darkness
of the mountains. Eventually, they decided there was nothing
they could do. The Captain was gone.
*
* * * * * *
Dan didn't
have too far to stagger on, thank heaven or hell, the dead
weight across his back was killing him. What irony.
Reaching
a ragged rock formation that provided some shelter with its
narrow overhang, he snorted at the sight of a dead tree, still
strong. Perfect. Fucking perfect at last.
The enemy
hadn't even twitched yet, Dan wondered if he had broken the
Russian's skull, he'd be pissed off if he had, he wanted to
make him pay and understand what it was like to die. Slowly.
Inevitably, but not immediately. Hell, that bastard would
see it coming.
Letting
the heavy body fall onto the ground, Dan felt a twinge of
satisfaction at the dull thud, doubtlessly causing bruises.
He stored the rifles under the overhanging rock, then it was
time to focus on that dead thing he had been carrying. A hunter,
bearing the trophy home. Dan laughed, and it was an ugly sound.
Time
to check over the unconscious man, he couldn't take any chances.
Kicking the body until it rolled over onto the back, he patted
the front down, checking inside every pocket. Packet of nuts
in the first, the other brought a garrotte to light. He stashed
everything in his own pockets, since he hadn't been able to
take his bergan, only the webbing he was wearing on his body
and that had to be sufficient to survive. Additions were welcome.
Found
spare magazines, Dan slipped them into the pouch at the small
of his back. Opening the Russkie's tunic, he found a map with
some yet indecipherable Cyrillic code, and then a small item
that made him frown. Carefully wrapped up, a pill. Sniffing
the thin coating, he frowned even more. He wasn't going to
cut the tunic and shirt off, they would come in handy for
himself in the cold nights if he turned them inside out, the
Soviet insignias torn off. Took the scarf off the thick neck
before rolling the body to the side to cut the ties around
the wrists. He had to be fast, pulled the clothes off the
upper body, and found another knife, strapped to the shoulder.
Dan smirked, refusing to acknowledge similarities between
the Russian's penchant for knives and his own.
Red Army
were Killers and Bad. British Forces were Defenders and Good.
Or some such other shit that didn't have much meaning, just
propaganda in a War that had been Cold for too long.
Dan's
eyes fell onto the heavily muscled right biceps. Snorting
at the shabby tattoo of a crude running wolf while checking
the Russian's boots and, as predicted, found another knife.
That was it, nothing else. Just belt, camo trousers, socks
and boots on the man.
Dan dragged
the man towards the tree, kicked, punched, pulled and prodded
the heavy limbs into position, until he had the Russian half-kneeling
under a low, sturdy branch. Propping the dead weight up against
his thighs, Dan forced the arms high up between the fucker's
back, the body trying to automatically fall forward, but he
kept it in position while musing how long it would take the
pain to wake the mind into consciousness. He worked fast.
Pushed the arms back down, sturdy wood between biceps and
elbows. There. Crucified on a beam.
Dan smirked,
pulled the wrists together in the front as close as he could,
using all his strength and forcing muscles, sinews and bones
almost to breaking point. Man-made rope cut deeply into skin
before he was content that the fucker was not going to move.
He stood back and looked at his work, studying the picture
and smirked. That's where the bastard belonged: on his knees.
"Wake
up, Russkie!" Dan shouted, before delivering a kick to
the bare chest. Dog tags jarring against bruises.
*
* * * * * *
A tenseness
and tightness that had to do with breathing. Vadim's shoulders
were taut, hurt, his chest was constricted, his arms felt
bad. He opened his eyes, his skull was thudding with
a dull pain, and a massive blow to the chest sent more pain
through his body. His head jerked up, eyes opened, and he
saw. Saw the reporter, merc, reporter, merc, whatever, hands
raised in fists, just moving back from a kick or punch. Looked
like kickboxing to him.
His hands
were immobilized, he couldn't defend himself. Knees touched
the ground. He coughed, tried to loosen up the tightness around
his lungs.
Slowly,
ever so slowly Vadim realized what position his body was in.
He looked up again, to the dark-haired man whose face shone
with hatred, and downright glee. The thoughts registered like
dripping acid. No way to defend. No way to fight. He was somewhere
else, he couldn't smell the smoke on the wind, couldn't hear
the copters. Alone. His arms were starting to get numb, and
he focused his attention on them, tried to take some of the
stress off. And meanwhile, a nameless, unspoken dread crept
up inside him. Focus, he thought. Focus on the situation.
Focus on the captor. Thoughts of mutilation, death, more beatings,
even, yes, castration. He'd seen all of those, on dead and
dying bodies. It was a distinct possibility. After all those
years.
Focus.
Your mind can defeat itself.
He was
alive. He wasn't severely wounded, only dazed, and there was
one human factor in the equation.
But that
human factor was the man whose body he had possessed, broken
in, in a fit of vodka and aimless rage. Just for pleasure.
The man who'd given him something he still, somehow, in an
odd way, kept close. The memory of strength, and, ultimately,
victory. Vadim looked at him, tried to judge the man's intentions,
what he was capable of.
Everything.
Put yourself
into his mind. Try to become the enemy and you will know.
If he was this man, he would interrogate, then kill.
Interrogation
meant he would eventually talk. Vadim's main enemy there was
the dizziness. He needed to think clearly, sharply, fast,
and flexible. He would talk. The other soldiers would come
back and look for him, tomorrow. That meant twelve hours of
torture. That was a very long time. Only, the enemy probably
knew of these time constraints, too.
These
twelve hours would be hell. The question was how he would
get out of it. Would the merc kill him? He would. So, withholding
information meant he would be kept alive. He turned these
thoughts in his mind, tried to find other solutions, ways
out. Truth was, he didn't want to die. Truth was, the man
had every reason to kill him for what he had done. Would kill
him for it.
Now,
if he could accept the fact of his death - that he wouldn't
see the next morning - if he could accept that and make it
the basis of his actions. Part of him screamed in terror at
the concept of death. He felt his breath accelerate, fighting
off that wave of panic. Accept you will die, Vadim, he repeated
to himself, and suppressed the thoughts of home that came
up. It didn't matter where he died, or even at what age. All
people die.
But not
all people turn traitors before they do. He did know things,
and above all, what his job was. And he needed to keep that
secret. And that meant torture. And that, again, meant, these
were the least painless, the most pleasant moments that he
had left. And he cherished them.
"Awake
at last?" Dan smirked, an altogether nasty look on his
face. The handsomeness had vanished, hatred was turning teeth
into fangs, high cheekbones into a glaring skull and dark
eyes into empty, menacing sockets.
Hatred
that had no name.
"Nice
to meet you again, Russkie." He fumbled in a pocket,
pulled out a battered packet of coffin nails, took his time
to light a fag. Inhaling deeply, the smoke curled into the
cool evening air, curb-crawling along the edges of sanity.
"I
wish
I could return sentiment", said Vadim. Not
nice meeting him. Less nice than the other times, and that
included the meeting the grenade had cut short. He tried to
sit up straight to get into any position that would take off
even a fraction of that stress, but the truth was, his own
muscles made it difficult. A skinny person would be far less
uncomfortable.
"Para,
eh? Sniper." Dan nodded, holding a conversation with
himself. "I have to give you that, you're good. The way
the brains of those terrified kids were splattering all over
their dying mothers' burkhas, that was skill, really."
Taking another deep drag, holding the nicotine deep in his
lungs for a moment.
Vadim
watched the smoke trail into the evening, wondered how many
men he had shot that had lit up on guard. Sniper. The natural
enemy of the common soldier. "Yes, sniper. Marksman.
Different target, same skill."
Dan nodded,
didn't try to hide the satisfaction at the Russian's obvious
discomfort. Good. It was meant to hurt. Like he had hurt,
like
No. Nothing.
Nothing had ever happened and he hated the fucking Russian
for Nothing. Nothing but the war crime. Nothing but the unnecessary
deaths during the slaughter.
Nothing
else. Nothing.
There
was a shift in Dan's facial expression, but he didn't notice.
Too intent on studying the other and fighting his own thoughts.
Cancerous thoughts, mutated cells eating away at others. The
tumour had to be destroyed before it could grow any further.
"You
should be proud of yourself and I guess you are." Dan
shrugged, just a bloke chatting in a mix of English and Russian.
Pulling on the fag again while his scraped fingers were searching
in another of his parka's pockets.
Pride.
Fuck him. Vadim would have been proud if he could have been
positive these people had killed Sasha. He would kill a thousand
people on the chance to get the one killer. Whoever the people
were.
Producing
a small, wrapped item, Dan stepped closer, holding the pill
under the Russian's nose. He had to lower his hand, right
in front of his groin, to be on the bastard's eye level. "This,
though, tells an interesting story, don't you think?"
Slow gleam of cigarette end turning bright red as he inhaled
again, then let the smoke escape between the words. "Who
are you really, Russkie."
Vadim
looked at the hand, the pill he was supposed to take to evade
capture. He stared at the man's crotch for a long moment,
then at the hand. The packet. Wrapped against he humidity.
But it might dissolve if he swallowed it whole. Nobody could
save him, there was no hospital, not even a medic. He relaxed,
looked up, as if to say 'I have no idea', then lunged forward,
tried to snatch the pill with his teeth.
Dan's
reaction was fast, a trained killer's split-second reactions
that decided over life and death, and he laughed tonelessly
as his fist closed and pulled away.
Vadim's
teeth clacked empty, and at the same time, a tearing pain
shot through his arms. He suppressed a sound of pain, breathed
hard against it, against the stress that flared up. "Am...phetamines",
he murmured. "Drugs."
"Try
again, fucker." The fist that had pulled back was flying
towards the Russkie's face. Perfect aim towards the nose,
knuckles connecting with cartilage and bone.
The pain
shot through Vadim's skull like a bullet, he felt the nose
break, smelt blood, and felt it run out of his nose. He opened
his lips, suppressing the pain, eyes watering, everything
turned into a blur of tears, of throbbing red, metallic pain
right between his eyes.
Dan shook
out his fist, aching from the impact, while pulling a last
drag from the fag in his other hand. He shrugged and looked
down at the glowing end before moving his hand. "Try
again."
Vadim
looked up, saw the cigarette come close, tried to get away,
but he could have been tied to a pillar of cement. His breath
accelerated, fast, nauseous shot of stress, and he screamed
from the pain as the cigarette was slowly stubbed out on his
skin, with a sizzling sound of burning flesh and evaporating
sweat.
Blood
and sweat ran over Vadim's face. This, he thought, is then
the real deal. Torture. Not a simulation, not a course to
determine how suitable he was for command. His head lowered,
blinking away tears, watching how the blood trickled into
the dirt. Nose one agonizing mass. And it was just a beginning.
He had a cover story, but if he gave that up too fast, the
merc would know that it was fake. He could only yield the
information when so close to the breaking point that there
was almost no distinction.
"Cocaine.
Surface
analgesic. Just in case I get shot up."
Vadim looked up. "No morphine." Body coiled, awaiting
more pain from the merc. "I'm para. You fucking know
that."
"You're
as much a para as I am a reporter." The evening was getting
darker, but never as dark as that coiled up hatred inside
Dan. That thing he could not see nor understand.
Destroy.
Deface. Dehumanise.
He had
all the reasons in the world to hate that Russian. A sniper.
A ruthless murderer. A liar. Watching the bleeding face dispassionately,
Dan slipped the wrapped pill back into a pocket. His eyes
were drawn to the angry red mark in the hollow of the Russian's
throat. So many shades of red. Blood, swollen flesh, burnt
skin.
"I
know your name, your rank, your number." He didn't even
bother to grab the dog tags. He knew, he fucking well knew.
He'd done his homework before the press conference. "Sports
hero Krasnorada." Dan snorted mockingly. "You're
more than that and you will tell me before I kill you."
A shudder
ran over Vadim's skin. Sports hero. It had been ages. He had
only been a tool for the USSR to prove the fact that Soviets
were better people. Worked harder, were more selfless, more
devoted. Mentally and physically sound. If not for Boris,
who knew. They might have won that medal.
Vadim
shook his head, tried to think clearly. Swallowing hurt, the
small dot of agony right between his collar bones. The pill
was a giveaway. If the merc knew what it was - and he could
certainly guess, not the least by how he had reacted at the
off-chance to get to it - he knew what it was for.
Dan glanced
up at the darkening sky; it would get freezing cold over night.
"Let's face it, Russkie, you're going to die. The only
question is how long it will take." He shrugged, "I
have time." And he would make sure his enemy wouldn't
be able to warn any possible search party.
That
he repeated Vadim's own thoughts to him struck deep. Accept
you will die, Vadim, he repeated, yet again. Accept that there
is one thing nobody can win against. The one, last, worst
defeat of every human being.
"You
should have killed me when you had the chance." Dan threw
away the comment.
Vadim
craned his neck when his captor moved around him, stepping
behind his crucified body, then felt a hand creeping along
his jaw to cradle the chin. If the enemy took his head with
his elbow, he could just break his neck. Vadim's shoulders
tensed, and he could hear himself pant with stress. The hand
felt good on his skin, menacing, but strong, and sure. He
tried to shake his head, tried to purge the fear. Exist. Breathe.
"I
was
drafted after my career was over. Shortage of men.
I became officer. To pay people back what they have done for
me. They made it possible." Official party doctrine.
He was nothing special, just one that rose, briefly, carried
up by the will of the people.
"You're
a fucking liar." Dan shook his head in the other's back
while cradling the face with his left. The other hand slipping
into a pocket of the PLCE that was closest to his heart. How
ironic.
He needed
to know, there was nothing that held him back. Had to know
the truth, to understand how it could have happened that he,
Dan McFadyen, member of the Special Airborne Services, one
of the top dogs of all males in the British Forces, that he,
a man, not just any man, but the man, could have been
overpowered, undertaken and abus
No.
He had
to know. Who and what was this Russian, the only one who had
ever won the upper hand, and who
who
"Who
are you." Once more, so quiet now. Murmured almost. That
dark voice as much a caress as the calloused fingers that
lay in mocking tenderness against the chiselled jaw.
Vadim
shuddered hard. The absence of pain made this erotic, he was
beginning to listen, really listen to the madman who had captured
him. Felt his weight shift, smelled his hand. Fucking insanity
to feel anything, to not be stone, but it was the other way
round. His body wanted to live, everything was intense, the
voice, rough with hatred, the hand, strong, as strong as he
remembered that body. He remembered that body.
"Who
are you really, Russkie." Dan forced the head back, as
far into the neck as it could go. The other hand holding something,
its thumb pressing against the corner of the Russian's mouth.
"Who are you."
"I
swear, I am Vadim Petrovich Krasnorada. I can't fake my past.
Can't fake what I did. I have thousands of witnesses."
Vadim tried to see what it was, anticipated a knife, and tensed.
Fear. The other would blind him, cut open his face. He shuddered,
violently, felt his throat being stretched, and he looked
at the man looming over him. His pulse raced, thundered in
his throat. Vanya had died like that. Maybe even on his knees.
"It's standard issue for my rank. They don't want officers
to get captured. I'm supposed to kill myself. I'd rather kill
myself than fall into their hands." 'Your hands', his
thoughts corrected. The desperate need to live. His body was
tense, nervously awaiting the next pain.
A shift
of his body and Dan moved even closer to steady his hold.
Cradling the head against his groin, looking down while standing.
"That's bullshit." Softly, but he had to know. Didn't
believe the Russian would be able to continue to lie to get
out of this. On the contrary, he did expect him to say nothing
but the truth when he was done. If he was ever done.
"You
will tell me who you really are and what your job is. Your
affiliation, your regiment, whatever you want to call it.
You're not a para," Dan smiled, the expression so cold,
it rivalled the freezing nights in the mountains, "you're
too good to be a para." Strange compliment, but it seemed
to make perfect sense to him.
Vadim
closed his eyes. Oh fuck. What if the enemy knew? What if
there had been a leak, a double agent, maybe somebody had
gotten captured, spilled the beans. No. Fuck, no. What if
they had intercepted communications. But then, there was no
regiment, no codenames that were used, ever. Officially. Fucking
spooks knew their business. He couldn't be the first one to
break. The first one to confirm. He felt the man close, impossibly
close, could smell him, feel the heat from his body. It was
cold, the other man was warm, hot even.
The thumb
began to force its way between Vadim's lips and the vice grip
of his head between his body and hand made it impossible to
bite. He couldn't close his mouth, that was how he breathed
with the nose completely swollen shut.
Vadim
struggled, threw his weight against the branch that held him
crucified, but the hand was insistent, holding a rag stained
with gun oil. A gag, to keep him from screaming. As if anybody
would listen. Vadim recognized the smell, the taste, thought
of the merc's body against him and improvised lube. Oh fuck.
What if the enemy set this alight, burned his mouth, his face?
The panic was so intense that his mind clouded. The fear blinded
him, choked him worse than the thing in his mouth.
Your
mind can defeat you, Vadim.
The fabric
was being forced deeper and deeper into the mouth, down the
throat. Pushing relentlessly, Dan counted on reflex and sheer
brutal force. Obstructing the throat from the inside out.
Intruding.
Entering. Forcing. Breaching a body.
Dan never
realised he was getting hard.
Vadim
tried to get what air he could, tried to hold his breath,
his heart racing so fast, every fibre in his body in a state
of fear that ate the oxygen. He struggled, the panic forced
his heart to beat so fast and hard it hurt. He tried to swallow,
nothing worked, and there was a wordless sound from deep in
his throat as he wanted to scream. He stared at those gleeful
eyes, and couldn't suppress the tears, his eyes watering,
a normal response, but he felt pathetic, would do anything
to be able to breathe.
Dan studied
the man, the reactions. Noted every change, each sign. He
had been well trained. 'Interrogation techniques', and he'd
been on the receiving end himself. He knew what it felt like,
experience made it all the better. He'd never thought he would
excel in the subject so well.
"I
make it easy for you, Russkie." Dan leant down, spoke
close to his captive's ears. "You tell me the truth and
I might let you live. You lie and you die." Knew the
panic could make rational thought difficult. The body was
so tense and tight against him, the Russian felt like a statue
hewn from stone. Warm stone, hot flesh.
Another
push, deeper even. Dan knew he didn't have much time left
before the enemy collapsed. His fingers inside the heat of
the mouth, moisture wicked up by the rag.
"I
have heard enough about your so-called Spetsnaz, your Special
Forces, there's no need to pretend they don't exist. Answer
me, cunt, are you Spetsnaz?"
The panic
overwhelmed Vadim, his throat hurt, stretched, raw, but nothing
against the panic.
Spetsnaz.
It didn't
matter, he knew. He fucking knew. His cover story. Spetsnaz.
Yes. That word. Not the other. Vadim nodded, nodded on the
verge of collapse, fought again, struggled to break free,
not die like this.
True
to his word, at least that - always that, Dan pulled the rag
out of the throat. He'd seen men throw up helplessly at the
speed with which the object was retracted, expected no less
from the Russian bastard. His hand loosened the vice grip,
allowing some movement of the head, the other hung by his
side, gun cleaning rag discarded.
Vadim
fought the rising bile helplessly, breathing, breathing in
short hard gulps, trying to fight the nausea that came up
from his body, welled up. No need to suffer, he let his head
fall, freed it from the hand long enough to throw up the bile
and what water had been in his stomach. He tried to wipe his
lips on his shoulder, away from that touching hand.
Dan's
legs were touching the other's back, those bound arms digging
into his thighs, and he felt nothing at the confession. Nothing,
until the flood of relief took him by surprise.
"Special
Forces. Preparing the offensive." Dan nodded, his hand
still resting on top of one overstretched shoulder. Something
wrong, though, something nagging at is mind, a physical sensation
that was lingering in his body. "Tomorrow you will tell
me to whom you are attached."
There
could not seriously be a tomorrow? Vadim saw no camp, no provisions,
no water. No insulation against the elements. "105th
Guards Airborne Division." It was close enough. Spetsnaz
had moved in to secure the airport before the 105th arrived.
And amidst those people, the KGB branch. Vympel. Fuck you.
Don't even think the word.
"Airborne
Division?" Dan shrugged, took a step back and the warmth
of his body left, exposing the other's bare skin to the biting
cold that was beginning to settle. "We'll see tomorrow
if I believe you. That is," he stepped into the line
of his enemy's vision, "if you are still alive."
Walking
over to the bundle with the Russian's uniform shirt and tunic,
he slipped into the latter, additional warmth against the
elements. "There is a reason you are here and I want
to know it."
Dan had
some water in his PLCE, it would have to do. He'd gone without
food for longer. Tomorrow; tomorrow he'd kill that bastard
and then find his way out of the mountains.
"What
are you?"
Dan stopped
when he heard the question, turned to look at the other. Pondering,
judging. Hell, what the fuck did it matter. "I am SAS,
cunt."
With
that he turned and moved beneath the shelter of the overhanging
rock, reaching for his SA-80 and all the additional clothing
he could find. Ready to curl up and get some sleep.
SAS.
Vadim felt his throat constrict with laughter, and knew he
was being hysterical. SAS. The very model of the Spetsnaz.
Why invent the wheel yet again. One special forces in the
world that the Soviet Union coveted. SAS. Father and mother
and sibling. As good as family. The model, the cast.
Vadim
craned his neck to see the man, as the pain in his face, in
his throat slowly subsided and was replaced with a dull throbbing.
He couldn't feel his legs anymore. His shoulders tightened
up, felt like they were twisted several times, and ever more.
No way he could sleep. He didn't want to. This was his last
night. Enough to think about. He didn't want to waste his
time.
The first
thing that felt really cold was the dog tags on his chest.
A kiss of ice. Vadim breathed, stared off into the sky. So
many stars. He wished he knew their names beyond the ones
he could use to navigate by. Ursa major. Ursa minor. Big bear
and small bear. He could read the time from them, how they
changed position with the rest of the sky.
Dan fell
asleep, reasonably sheltered against the cold, rifle clutched
in his hand, lips so close he almost kissed the metal. Found
some rest, but woke, too early, too dark. Alone with his thoughts
and the human shape amidst the darkness, faintly illuminated
from a sickle moon and an overwhelming abundance of stars.
Dan felt
nothing, except for the lingering relief that the man who
had overpowered him had been Special Forces. Spetsnaz, the
best. The very best right after the SAS. He'd already forgotten
the other Russian, the one he had killed. The fact they had
been two and not just one did not matter. It had been this
one, the still shape in a silent night, who caught his eye,
back in that goddamned din in Kabul, and who had taken him
by surprise.
He'd
have to die. Dan knew his duty, understood the rules, but
No words
- no thoughts. He had to do it, remembered he wanted to. Yet
executing one's fellow man was never an easy task. Perhaps
he stalled tonight.
The cold
grew worse, much worse. Moisture settled on Vadim, and he
was shivering uncontrollably before the night was halfway
over. The cramps in his arms and legs, and the stinging, throbbing
pain everywhere kept him awake, and every now and then he
managed to tear his mind off the pain and think of Sasha.
And Katya. His family. The place in Moscow he had called home.
His parents. Now that the SAS soldier was asleep, he could
think of them, could allow them to be in his mind.
He regretted,
mostly to have been captured, maybe to disappoint them. Most
of all to leave them behind. If he was killed in action, at
least Katya would get a pension, but it did not replace his
salary. And money was tight as it was.
The pain
became so bad he could hardly think. Every minute a bone wrecking
cramp, he couldn't feel his legs, but everything he could
feel hurt.
Vadim
was ready to die when the sun came up.
Dan woke
up when dawn broke. The Russian seemed to be alive. Good.
He had the last of the water, then stretched while sitting,
searched his webbing and reached for the compass.
"Fuck!"
Hissed softly between his teeth. He hadn't noticed the compass
was fucked. The map as useless as an embroidered doily on
an officer's desk. The fucking mountains. He put the compass
away, ignored the dread, he'd been in worse situations. First
to deal with the Russian.
Vadim
was being wrecked by cramps. Everything, his chest, his legs,
his arms, his shoulders, he bit his lips to not scream, because
he didn't want the other to wake up and put a bullet through
his head.
He wanted
to at least appear a little dignified. Breathing harshly against
the pain, trying hard to suppress any sound. It gnawed on
his body like a thousand hungry rats. Vadim wanted it to stop.
More than anything. His body was cold, shivering, he was exhausted
from the tension, the cramps and the shudders that his body
had used to stay warm. Run down, worn out, cold, above all
fucking cold.
He turned
his head, saw the SAS guy emerge. He'd been right, all along.
They were equals. Who had so far failed to kill each other.
But this time, they were alone, and the other wasn't drunk
enough to leave the killing to a comrade, like he had been.
Stupid
fucking mistake. It all had been a fucking mistake. Jump him
in the street and take him, take him, even though that had
been the only thing he had needed, the only thing that could
sate him and make him feel content. A mistake. Even though
it had been the best fuck in his life.
Vadim
laughed to himself, tonelessly, a small sound that failed
to expand his cramped chest. "Good morning", he
murmured. Vicious envy at the clothes, the gun, the fact the
other could stand and even move.
Dan's
brows raised while walking closer to the Russian, studying
him with interest, like a professor would examine a bug.
"You
got stamina." The words were out and with them a strange
sense of respect for the strength of another, before Dan thought
even twice. He frowned, a heartbeat off the track by that
unexpected sensation. Then he shrugged, pulling the pistol
out of its holster, checking the magazine. All without another
word and with professional precision.
Vadim
tried to pull himself together. He was in agony, but he couldn't
allow the enemy to see that. Now, that was what the other
had in mind. Take him out right now. Why the fuck had he even
waited the night? He tried to straighten, and failed. Nothing
obeyed him. The body the last thing to betray him, after his
unit, his luck.
"So,
Spetsnaz, ready to tell me your affiliation?" The weapon
weight comfortable in Dan's hand. Familiar and deadly. He'd
never executed a fellow man like this before. Cold blooded,
calculated. But what did it mean 'cold blooded'? Anything
out of the adrenaline insane hell of the battlefield could
be considered 'cold blooded'.
It was
a necessity. His duty. Despite the moment of confusion and
uncertainty he had felt in the night, watching the dark shape,
he believed he could lay the Nothing finally to rest, if he
pulled the trigger. Dan raised his hand, almost gently placed
the muzzle against his enemy's forehead.
What
had the Russian said? One perfect memory.
Vadim's
heart stopped as the pistol pointed in his direction, and
it didn't beat when it touched his forehead. He stared at
the enemy, denounced what he had thought for a hundred times
during the night. He wasn't ready to die. Just cramps. They
would stop, eventually. He didn't want to die. Couldn't just
let go.
"105th
Guards Airborne." Vadim suddenly laughed. "And you
can't drink the water from the well. You can't drink any water
from any village around here." He bared his lips, dry
and parched, fuck, whatever. "There is water, but you
won't find it." He raised himself up in a final gesture
of defiance, and took the muzzle between his lips. He didn't
trust that kind of shot. Through the roof of the mouth was
more secure. That was how he executed.
Dan's
eyes narrowed, lips tightened into a thin line. Fuck. Fuck!
Anger flared the moment the realisation hit home. The fucking
Russian wasn't lying. Poison, goddamned motherfucking bastards
had poisoned the wells, wasn't the first time.
He'd
been tricked by that cunt. Again. Once again taken out by
surprise, he leant close, muzzle steady between those lips,
his voice snarling in hatred. Defeat. The loss of his fucking
victory.
"Then
you will get me to the water!"
He'd
never imagined he could hate the Russian even more than on
that night in Kabul. Abruptly pulling the pistol out of the
Russian's mouth, he flicked his hand and came crashing down
against the temple.
Again.
Vadim
felt nothing but relief. That meant he'd live. They'd both
live. Then, again, a sharp pain, and the lights went out.
And on.
Vadim woke up from vomiting, acid searing his raw throat,
mouth, mingling on the ground with dust and stone. He saw
the SAS guy pull his leg back. The bastard had kicked him
in the stomach. No blood in the bile, the kick hadn't been
hard enough to rupture anything. At least nothing so obvious.
He was
lying on the side, he could feel his legs, even though the
only thing he could feel was pain. His legs were tied with
rope, a length of rope that would allow him to shuffle along.
Not enough to run or kick. His arms were behind his back,
wrists crossed, and attached to something. Something around
his neck. More rope. What the fuck
?
Vadim
groaned, spit out more bile. He felt dizzy with dehydration,
exhausted, couldn't have been unconscious for long. Minutes,
not hours.
"Get
up." Dan's sharp voice spat out the order. His SA-80
trained at the man on the ground, the Dragunov rifle tied
onto the webbing across his back. He'd had some of the nuts
he had found in the Russian's pockets, but he was hungry,
let alone thirsty. Couldn't be helped for now.
"Get
the fuck up and find water." He could see the other struggle,
studied him dispassionately like a bug, ready to be dissected.
Anger emanated from him, it was obvious that all he wanted
to do was put a bullet through the Russian, and instead had
to depend on him.
Nothing
in Vadim's body seemed to be able to support his own weight.
He felt like he was broken in several places, but then, the
parts of the machine that was his body realigned and started
to fit together, muscles and tendons, prime shape was now
merely workable. His stomach pressed up bile again as he staggered
to his feet, his upper body agony, his stomach one hard, hurt,
sore piece of shrapnel inside. Glancing at the man, Vadim
didn't even know what he felt, maybe relief that the enemy
hadn't killed him. But that relief turned to lead in his heart,
a sinking feeling.
"No
tricks, fucker, or I take you to the Mujahideen." Dan
bared his teeth, smirked.
At all
costs, no. He's fucking your mind, Vadim thought. He needs
you as a guide, he can't deliver you into their hands. He
nodded, kept his glance down, didn't want to show the man
anything, nothing in his face, nothing in his eyes, sullen
and stoic just like one of the fucking donkeys.
Dan wasn't
taking the piss when he threatened his enemy to hand him over
to the insurgents. Not if he tried to trick him. The Russian
needed water, more urgently than he did, to lead him to a
poisoned supply would be suicide -and since that fucker had
been so obviously keen on living, it was highly unlikely.
Unlikely,
but Dan didn't trust anything or anyone. Trust was to sleep
with a knife under the pillow, that was the closest he would
ever get. He intended to take the arsehole to the British
embassy or perhaps the stupid Amerikanskis. One of them would
make a P.O.W. out of the bastard, put him in front of a war
crime tribunal and Dan would never have to hear of him again.
That was, if he managed not to kill the cunt after all. A
bullet through the Russkie's brain still seemed like a damn
good option.
Vadim
started walking. Knowing the direction, vaguely, as soon as
he had gotten his bearings. The neighbouring valley to the
one where they had attacked. He knew how the karez went here,
had been part of the recce, and he had this habit to understand
where the basic resources were. Bleeding, vomit, nothing to
drink for about eight or ten hours. He'd need water soon enough.
Vadim
found a rhythm, moving over the broken territory with his
arms twisted and tied up, even worked out how to deal with
the rope between his feet that seemed intent to catch rocks
or make him stumble when he tried to fall into his normal
stride. It didn't allow that, and that forced him to concentrate
on the pure act of walking.
The sun
came up and started burning Vadim's shoulders, collarbones,
nose, his face, burnt down on his shorn head. He could really
have used that rag now, but he was sure it would be declined.
Sun burn, and worse. He grew a splitting headache over midday,
and thought, but slowly, ever so slowly, reaching out to the
next slow thought when he had finished the last one. The SAS
guy could be played, he understood. He had already won in
being alive this long. He could, if he did it right, find
more ways to defeat him, to keep his own morale up, because
that was the main challenge with the constant pain. Cling
to small stuff. He needed that, to at least project a semblance
of strength and determination.
The day
wore on, Dan wrapped the rag around his head to protect himself
from the sun and merciless heat, step after step, following
the Russian. He had an idea where he was, not unknown to the
region, but without the compass he was potentially lost if
luck ran out for him. Wasn't bothered, though. He'd get to
water and then back into the valleys. He'd live, but the enemy?
Who the fuck cared.
Hour
after hour, Dan watched the forcibly short steps that rarely
faltered, somewhere in the back of his mind the professional
soldier admired the other's stamina. The way the Spetsnaz
managed to keep himself from choking for such a long time
spoke of superior mental and physical strength, but then Dan
knew about it, didn't he? Had tasted the physical power.
Dan's
face was closed and angry, deep in thoughts while marching
on, when the Russian suddenly stopped.
Body
functions. Vadim really wished there weren't any. Not when
his hands were tied up. He turned around and looked at the
man who seemed just as dizzy as he felt. His shoulders were
killing him, but he knew what would happen if his strength
waned. Choking, unconsciousness, probably a hard fall, again,
and more pain. Definitely humiliation. He swallowed, felt
the parched throat. Maybe another hour. Almost expected a
rifle butt, a fist or a kick. He was not supposed to stop.
"I need to piss."
"So
what?" The fucking Russian had to be joking. "Just
piss already." Just like this, into the trousers, and
why the hell not.
"Listen",
the English was unwieldy in Vadim's throbbing brain, while
he tried to appear less stoic, less stony. "I need to
piss. Just untie me for second, I won't run. Fuck, I can't
run." He had worked so hard on the words on the way here.
There were plenty of good, pointy rocks on the ground. More
than he would need. "Come on."
Vadim
lowered his gaze, appearing, hopefully, meek and cut to size,
like he had learnt a lesson. This last fight could well end
badly, but better try it now when he had still a little strength
left - and while he knew where he was.
He only
received laughter as an answer. It sounded dry and scratchy,
Dan hadn't had much more water than the Russian. Only a couple
of mouthfuls. "How fucking stupid do you think I am?"
Dan stepped closer, pushed the muzzle of the rifle deep into
the other's stomach. Slowly, for once, not hitting nor kicking.
Not yet.
Vadim
inhaled sharply as the hot muzzle touched his flesh. Thought
for a blinding moment he'd shoot him in the guts and let him
die slowly, really slowly. The fear was back, acid on his
brain, eating. He closed his eyes, tensed his muscles, ridiculous
protection against a high speed bullet.
"I
tell you what, Russkie. I tell you what I would do in your
situation." Dan's lips were chapped, despite the rag,
his tongue felt swollen in his mouth, and the voice was rougher.
"I would try to get my hands free, grab one of those
damn sharp rocks over there, and attempt to knock my captor
out."
He grinned,
baring his teeth. "I'm SAS, you are Spetsnaz. How much
fucking chance is there that you aren't planning to do the
exact same fucking thing? No," the rifle slipped, pushed
against the metal plaque of the belt, forcing it downwards,
"you piss without your hands."
Vadim
felt the muzzle pull against the belt. The star on it showed
his allegiance, clearly, and below that
the Brit could
shoot him in the groin. No need to ever piss again. He tried
to control his breathing, but he was already panting like
a dog through his mouth. No go through the nose. "Listen."
That bit came out too fast, and Vadim wrestled the fear for
a long moment. "Don't be complete bastard." He looked
into the man's eyes.
Dan's
eyes narrowed, looking straight into the other's. He remembered
them to be icy blue, too pale, too striking. He hadn't forgotten
them since Kabul. Now one was half swollen shut, the other
red and bloodied, and yet they still were this same motherfucking
piercing colour.
Vadim
continued, "Last time I pissed my pants was basic training.
And I hadn't slept for week. You're soldier." He noticed
he'd slipped the articles. Still speaking English. Both languages
waltzed through his overheated brain and whirled around so
it was impossible to tell which one it was. English. Articles.
Restricted sentence structure. "C'mon."
Yes,
he was a soldier, Dan hadn't forgotten it, but what was the
other? "Why the fuck would I grant you that dignity?"
The sun-heated metal pushed further down.
"You
said, I'm Spetsnaz. Yes, I am." Vadim inhaled deeply,
fought the fear and nausea, his body, the weight of his arms.
"You did enough already. How much do you have to defeat
me? Are you that scared?" Fuck. Too far, too much. Far
too much.
"Scared?"
Dan's anger exploded across his face, driving the rifle home,
deep into the abdomen, but the lack of distance kept the worst
force away. Physical violence always the first reaction. "You
fucking piece of shit!"
Reaching
behind the Russian's neck, he grabbed the short rope that
connected neck and arms. "The only reason you cunt are
alive is the water. Make no mistake, shithead, I rather die
myself than let you go." He stepped closer, body to body,
gave a sharp, brutal pull on the rope, watched it dig deeply
into the throat.
Vadim
inhaled sharply, the pull made him sway on his feet, machine
less balanced than it had been. The rope dug in, burnt, burnt,
blurred his vision. That bastard was fucking strong, and he
couldn't help it, but the strength did something to him, he
was on the receiving end this time, and he needed to remember
what that was like. Could have been like. He tried to focus
his eyes as his body screamed at him for lack of oxygen.
"Please",
his lips formed, soundlessly. Just that. He couldn't say more.
It had been ages that he had actually meant it when he pleaded.
Just
that one word, where endless arguing would have achieved nothing,
but that one, simple word. "Fuck." Dan hissed, anger
defeated. He let go of the rope and eased the pressure behind
the rifle. "Fuck you, Russkie." The words lacked
most of their earlier venom.
"Shit."
Between his teeth, Dan didn't want to do this - could not
do it. Put the rifle down, no way the bastard could trick
him right now, he'd beat the shit out of him before the Russian
could try anything. Fiddling for a moment with the square
belt buckle, he knew them by heart, just like his own uniform's
except for the insignia, but it didn't make it any easier.
Those goddamned hooks were meant to be opened by the wearer.
Vadim
shivered, shivered badly as the SAS soldier unbuckled his
belt. In this situation? Leave him like this, punch him again.
His stomach was tense, pattern forming through the skin. The
pattern he had taken so much pain to develop. So much time.
Discipline. Crunches until he couldn't breathe, with weights,
without weights, tilted, straight, dangling from one of the
metal bunk bed, bringing his torso up, agonizingly slow. A
knife hidden under his crossed arms, just in case anybody
chose this moment to start a fight.
Too close,
too fucking close and Dan smelled heat, skin, blood and pain.
Pain, yes, could smell its essence, it crept into his nostrils,
dried blood, sweat and bile constricted his parched throat
even further. This could be him instead. It had been him.
Kabul.
Calloused
and scraped fingers managed to push buttons through their
holes, his movements full of disgust. He dropped the camo
trousers as if they were contaminated, didn't care that they
slipped down the hips, stopped at the knees, threatened to
pool around the tied ankles.
Vadim
couldn't even look down at himself, the shoulder held him
in that awkward position, his own body defying him. In other
circumstances
he had needed help dressing and undressing
when his wrists were broken, both at the same time, fucking
nuisance. Absolutely nothing he could do alone. He didn't
mind the helping.
"You
must be fucking joking." Toneless, Dan stared at the
briefs, but fuck, couldn't say the words that were on the
forefront of his mind. 'I'm not taking your motherfucking
cock out! I'm not touching your dick, arsehole.' Couldn't
say them out loud.
Fool,
eh? You'd be a fool, Daniel McFadyen.
Damn.
Had to get this over quick. Handling another bloke's cock?
He wasn't a fucking fag, wanted to burn all shit-stabbers,
to bash every cocksucker's brain in. Like this one. Shit-stabber.
Fucker. Rap
No. Nothing.
Fucking faggot arsewipe of a Russian cunt had done Nothing.
Dan didn't
notice that he had stalled for an obvious moment, staring
unmoving at the bulk in the briefs. Grabbed the waistband
at last, pushed them down with one angry movement, forced
to take hold of the cock with his hand to free it sufficiently.
Exposed.
Vadim tensed up more, wanted his hands free, to cover, to
protect, to dress. The touch made him nervous, not exactly
something he wanted to think of up here in the mountains,
tied up and beaten as he was.
Nevertheless.
He'd had him. They had been closer than this, much closer.
It couldn't get any closer than inside that amazing, struggling
heat. Vadim's body reacted to the memory, and Vadim fought
hard not to smirk.
A tiny
victory, almost inconsequential, but he knew the man was fundamentally
honourable. Empathic. Which meant he wasn't ignorant to what
he was thinking - or thought Vadim was thinking - and also
meant he had a weakness he could exploit.
"That's
it, pizda." Dan grabbed the rifle, stepped back, avoided
to stare at the Russian's exposed groin, moved into his back
instead. "Piss, cunt."
Cunt.
Pizda in English.
Don't
care about it, Vadim. Don't let them ever tell you what you
are feeling keeps you from winning.
So long
ago, it had unnerved him, scared him. Vadim had known he wanted
things that made him disgusting, despicable, made him the
worst curse that the other boys could imagine. He doubted
they knew what it was they cursed. The treasure of feeling,
the one place in his heart where he wasn't the Soviet Union's
property, wasn't the young model athlete. Not propaganda poster
material.
He'd
been fascinated by the stories he had heard from other athletes.
About people who did this quite openly, blatantly, still nervous,
but no longer scared out of their minds.
Sasha.
He followed the SAS soldier with his eyes, turned his head.
Saw that that man was far more unnerved than he was. 'I may
be a faggot, but I held your life in my hand', he thought.
'And that is what counts'.
He shook
his head, then focused on pissing without hitting his trousers.
Gave
the SAS soldier plenty of time to study his backside, the
straining, twisted arms, legs apart as far as the rope allowed,
for a secure position despite being dizzy as hell, ass tensed,
round, his skin paler past the belt line, but still tanned
enough to betray he did catch some sun every now and then.
From
swimming. Whenever he could. The parallel dimples over his
ass, lines of muscle that ran from his hips to his groin,
strong legs with blonde hair, the body the cameras had liked
so much.
Vadim
remembered the snide remarks, had read the newspapers, haltingly,
he didn't trust his English, a lot of people laughed when
he spoke. They said he sounded endearing. Insecure. He was
nervous about mingling with the others, only relaxed when
he could focus on what he knew.
"
and Krasnorada perches on his horse like a swimmer. Or should
that be a wet Siberian tiger cub?"
Ha, fucking
ha. They all knew he'd been part of the swimming cadre, and
then reassigned, because Vadim was never fast enough to compete
with the fastest. And that was it. The fencer that should
be plowing water, the rider that didn't ride a wave, but a
horse. Only with shooting and running did the comments subside
a little. He was fast, and accurate.
The cameras,
however, loved him. Even Vadim's coach had shaken his head.
"Cameras become you. You're already booked for a bunch
of interviews." And you haven't even won anything yet,
was what Vadim heard, but nobody spoke.
More
opportunities to speak halting English. Cameras. People handed
Vadim free stuff so he wore them, clothes with labels, mostly.
People sent him letters. They could write pages and pages
about how he looked on the TV screen.
Vadim
laughed dryly. Those people should see him now. That thought
went deep, and he cursed his vanity. It didn't matter. The
SAS soldier would end all that with a bullet. Unless he could
twist him around enough to survive this.
Vadim
glanced over his shoulder. "Nurse. I'm finished."
Dan didn't
answer. Hadn't heard and paid no attention, thus didn't kick
nor hit at the mockery of 'nurse'. He was still standing,
just like before, staring at the back of the Russian. He was
thirsty, dizzy, perhaps that was what had torn down any defences
he'd put up before.
The arse.
This ... this ... this perfect smooth-round-strength shape
that tapered into waist, back, up to shoulders. Broad. Tense
now, muscles bunching, relaxing, cording again. Skin sunburnt
and pale alike, stretching almost flawlessly over hard expanses
of muscles, bones, sinews and flesh.
No reaction,
for too long. He didn't have a clue how long it really took
before he caught himself with a jerk.
What
the fuck? What the bloody goddamned motherfucking fuck had
he just been staring at?
Bastard!
Dan said
nothing, realised he didn't have any idea what the Russian
had mocked and stepped back towards him, with obvious distaste
grabbing the damp cock. Distaste. Disgusting. Tried to stuff
it swiftly back into the once white briefs, failed. Had to
pick up the waistband first, handle the cock once more, while
the rifle was secured under his arm. He hissed a curse through
his teeth.
The question,
to Vadim, was what was more tantalising, the rifle within
kissing range or the man standing right before him. Seemed
the Brit grew meek, or it was disgust, and more. The 'more'
caught Vadim's attention for a moment, and he tried not to
flinch as he was handled like that. He could hardly expect
that guy to treat him nicely and maybe suck it. That would
be asking too much. He breathed laughter at the thought, nostrils
widened and he controlled the laughter, but not the grin.
"Thanks. Now I take you to water."
Vadim
began to march straight away, the small rest hadn't really
refreshed him, not nearly as much as his enemy had done with
that little show of nerves.
Dan was
once again walking behind the Russian, carefully checking
the terrain. Not for a moment trusting the apparently weak
state of his enemy. No matter how much it seemed the Russian
was in a useless condition, it could well be a ruse. He'd
certainly use any trick he could if he were in the fucker's
position ...
Vadim
walked on, climbed another saddle of another fucking mountain,
and crossed the line in his little internal map. This was
one of the killing zones. Cleaning. Nobody was allowed here
who was not Soviet or affiliated. He recognised the characteristic
structure in the rock - the covered karez tunnels. Underneath
ran water, a couple yards down in the rock. Vadim walked on,
then stopped. "Lift that cover. Water's down there."
Nodding at the ground. He could almost smell it.
Dan looked
around, taking in everything. Formation, location, smell even.
He might need this knowledge in the future. Without a word
moving towards the cover, he was thirsty, but he'd let the
Russian drink first. The water could be poisoned, after all.
Kneeling down beside it, he checked on the enemy before lifting
the cover and motioning the other over. "You better be
right."
Vadim
was grateful he could drop to his knees. A goatskin bag on
a rope, that was how they got the water up, and he could hardly
wait, then forced himself to discipline. Fuck. Not going to
get overly excited. I'm fucked up, but not that bad yet. He
checked the surroundings, no poison canisters, no dead animals,
they probably hadn't poisoned the water. Not his people.
The bag
came up, spilling water, and Vadim bowed down, lips almost
touching the ground to drink. Like an animal, but that really
didn't matter now. His arms killed him, but it was water.
Forcing himself to drink slowly, the water was cold, fresh,
tasted of stones, of the whole fucking landscape.
Dan was
watching the Russian, rifle always trained on the man. Helpless
or not, he wouldn't trust him for one second. The water was
going down, and then he waited. Nothing. No sign of poisoning.
He was desperate for water, finally, after several minutes,
reaching for the goatskin and drinking in large, thirsty gulps,
but stopping himself after half a dozen. It wouldn't do to
get sick, not with that cunt nearby.
Vadim
waited, watched the SAS guy drink. Among comrades, he knew
one of them would joke by faking stomach cramps, but the other
was so unnerved he would shoot him. Besides, nothing to gain
by it.
Dan closed
his eyes for a split moment, just relishing how the water
ran down his parched throat, loosening the swollen tongue
from the roof of his palate and quenching a thirst that had
started to become debilitating. He kept the Russian in the
corner of his eyes while refilling his bottle. He'd have to
allow that bastard to drink some more. Wouldn't do if the
arsewipe died before he had taken him to another waterhole,
on the way back out of the mountains.
Vadim
leaned against a rock, he wanted to lie down and sleep, without
his arms being twisted out of their sockets, they hurt so
much he wished they'd stop, forever, and his strength started
to wane. He could feel the rope dig into his throat, and he
knew he couldn't hold out forever. Soon. He l |