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April
1982, Afghanistan
Spring,
birds chirping, trees blooming, baby rabbits hopping across
fresh green lawns, prettily sniffing at daffodils.
Yeah,
right. Dan sneered at the mental image with which he had been
amusing himself for the last two hours while cleaning his
guns for the umpteenth time.
Spring.
Bloody spring in this goddamned shithole and the snow was
still covering most of the mountains. Granted, the plateau
was fairly clear from the white crap that was pissing him
off to heaven and hell after almost six months of trudging
through this shit, but the nights were still freezing. The
cold was ten times worse than the heat had been during the
last time he had been in that cave.
Spring.
April. Nineteen-bloody-eighty-bloody-two, and it felt like
eons ago since he had carved a word into bleeding flesh, sealing
his fate by setting the path that would lead him back to this
place, waiting. Day after day, approaching the tenth. He'd
be waiting until he could hold off his orders no longer, bound
by his duties as much as the other.
Day after
day. Shooting small animals, skinning, roasting, eating. Shitting
in a faraway corner, pissing the water back out that came
cold and fresh from the well that still sported the Russian's
blood in his imagination. There, the construction that held
the bucket; the beam he had tied the man to. Dan was watching,
waiting, cleaning his weapons and doing some exercises, but
most of all observing the mountains. Alone with his thoughts,
content with himself. Sleeping, dreaming, never of anything
other than sweat and heat, touch and need.
Watching.
Waiting. Wanting.
*
* *
Mild
enough to sleep outside, and Vadim didn't mind anymore, didn't
mind the country, or the stress, didn't mind mountain warfare
and the deaths. Remembered Platon, good for a dozen fucks,
perverse the fact that the kid had been so fucking young and
so fucking scared, the contrast of their bodies nearly the
best about it, bony, slender, a sleek creature with good bones,
good features. Had been trip number 30, one-and-a-half medals,
for courage, in what his side called "road war",
fighting for streets and passage, and mobility.
Rifle
shot in the throat, Platon had bled out before any medic could
reach him. The driver had been gloomy during winter, so gloomy
that Vadim had bitchslapped him, several times, told him to
get his fucking act together, but Platon had said he'd die.
Had been right. Hadn't shaved before his trips, no hand shaking,
no photos, and still dead. Black tulips.
Vadim
couldn't linger, didn't want to. Platon and him had been 'friends',
the kid sometimes rested at his shoulder when they drank,
and it was a father-son-thing, Vadim doubted anybody knew
their physical ease with each other had been earned at night.
Fuck. Platon had gotten into his mind, a little, maybe because
he had been so scared the first time, begged him not to hurt
him, offered whatever to not be hurt. Vadim had been too sober,
he actually didn't do it as intended, thought of the fucking
Brit and their meeting in Kabul, and thought, fuck. Had taught
Platon how he liked to be touched, did the whole thing, jerking
each other off, Platon didn't get into cocksucking, though,
too nervous. Vadim had fucked his thighs for weeks and jerked
him off before he actually fucked him, and he'd been 'careful',
and gotten the other to relax and enjoy it. Never quite like
Gavriil, who was still stationed somewhere in Kabul, but actually
the very first conscript with some guts despite his age. Guts
enough to treat him just like another soldier, no fear of
the invincible, indestructible spetsnaz. Kids and fools know
no fear.
Vadim
had written the letter home, what a hero Platon had been,
how much his comrades respected him, heart and soul of his
unit, and had wanted to scream in rage, go off into the mountains
and kill everything that moved, pile bodies up just to feel
better. Was oddly, darkly relieved he hadn't raped the kid,
not to his knowledge, not like he could have. Leaving him
not much of an option, okay, but hey, that wasn't as bad as
it could have been. Sent the letter off and kept his own council.
Platon's friends thought he was one of them, but he didn't
take any bullshit from them about consolation. He wasn't that
young anymore, and never been that innocent. He'd been the
father-figure of one fucking conscript who had been fascinated
with the special forces. End of story.
He'd
pulled strings to be able to get to the cave, check out dushman
movements, alone, because hiding one man was easier. He'd
been especially careful, kept to himself, thought things through,
Platon, and the strangely gloomy, hopeless thing they'd had,
Platon who'd said he felt safe with him, Vadim who had joked
he could kill him in a heartbeat. Or rather, not joked.
Vadim
moved, guided by the latest intelligence, went with a convoy,
then began the long march, slept when he could, always defenceless
the moment his mind slipped away. Tired.
Once,
in the middle of the night, there was a blinding pain in his
head, then a deeper kind of darkness.
The next
time he woke up, it was to kicks and punches, his hands twisted,
and curses in Dari, or Pushtu, or any other language. Still
could only order tea. He had a rag over his head, nose and
eyes felt swollen, the bag was wet, and he knew they tried
to scare him, scare him by restricting his oxygen, and he
breathed, calm, forced his mind to acknowledge he'd been taken
in his sleep, in the middle of nowhere. Not fucking again.
They
hit him, hit him a lot, rifle butts, he thought, mostly against
his back and shoulders, his chest. He did as expected, cringed
like a worm that was being stomped upon - no guise, he did
mean it.
They
didn't speak Russian, or English, but they must have worked
out he was an officer, or the pain in the night would have
been a bullet. They'd take him somewhere where they could
cut the knowledge out of him. He had no idea how many they
were, he heard definitely more than two voices. Didn't give
a fuck, plotted, worked on his escape when they tired of hitting
him. Calculated his chances, didn't look bad, did what they
forced him to do, and that was march.
Vadim
roughly calculated the direction in which they took him as
north, judging from the way they bowed to Mecca five times
a day, and he could peek through the rag when he worked a
little, pulling the cloth with his lips to a place that was
thinned out, saw shadows, and that was just enough. North.
Closer to Kabul again, not south, toward Pakistan. Probably
meant to bring him to the Panjer. Which was amazingly bad
news. He didn't want to get face to face with the warlords
there.
He prepared
to make a run for it, but the bitches were careful and thorough,
and his hopes sank. They kept him short on water and food,
probably didn't have much themselves, and underestimated the
amount of water that a body like his needed, they seemed to
be creatures of leather, these mountain people.
Eventually,
they rested during midday, and Vadim collapsed onto his knees,
breathing hard, dizzy, throat parched. There, "salaams",
greetings. Another voice. They seemed at ease. Had met up
with another group? Probably yes.
Vadim
focused on breathing, listening, thought he might recognize
place names, names of people if he listened carefully. But
then. The voice. Pushtu. A deceptively soft voice, with a
melody he recognized. Dan? What the fuck? His head snapped
up, he tried again to work on the rope around his wrists,
they let him drink like an animal, that rope came never off.
The voice
continued, talking slower than the locals, but fluently. Then
silence, shuffling, the rustle of papers, and several voices
together, debating. It had to be his captors, then, who spoke
with determination. "No." In Pushtu.
*
* *
Smooth-talking,
the rifle slung carelessly across Dan's back, cajoling, trying
to bribe with words and explain, showing the letter that gave
him authority, and arguing the prisoner should be his. He
should take the Russian soldier to the warlord, but they refused.
No.
Theirs.
Not his. Wrong warlord, wrong place, wrong religion and wrong
race.
Dan remained
silent, shielding his eyes with hair and dark brows while
glancing at the barely conscious figure on its knees. The
Russkie. His Russkie. His cunt.
Vadim
could have been hewn from stone, didn't move a muscle as he
heard the voice, knew for a fact it was him. The voices sounded
agitated, those weren't Dan's insurgents, Afghanistan and
its fucking factions, one warlord hating the other, one race
the other, ethnic groups as incompatible as predators and
prey.
"I
understand." Dan finally answered. In Pushtu again, nodding
and seeming acquiescent. "The Soviet officer is yours.
Take him to your warlord. He is your responsibility. I will
be on my way." A shuffle of boots on the bare rocks and
Dan turned to leave. "Da-svi-da-niya."
Goodbye?
It hit Vadim like a grenade, everything he'd gathered, thoughts,
willpower, strength, suddenly burst into splinters. He fought,
got up, got two strides in, then heard them shout and again
the fucking rifles butts, until he couldn't move but squirm
on the ground, choking on his tears. Hoped to fuck the SAS
guy would move up higher into the mountains, take aim and
shoot him from there. Had no voice, no breath, no strength
to shout that after him, instead focused on curling up against
the vicious blows. They did what he would have done to a prisoner.
All's fair in war. He had been taken. That was his lot. Nothing
he could do about it. Platon had had a quicker death.
Maybe
there was an opportunity later. Vadim waited, waited for the
one blow to the head that would be a big calibre slug going
right through it. Fuck Afghanistan.
*
* *
Dan walked
away, barely able to control the tension. Fuck. Fucking Russkie,
but fuck those goat-herders even more. Trust the Russian cunt
to act like a brainless idiot, attacking the Mujas with a
hood on his head. The plan had been forming in his mind while
checking location, opponents and chances during their conversation.
He'd tried with words, but in the end, fire and steel would
do it again.
He couldn't
have shot them, not then nor there. Not three at the same
time. Besides, his ammo and rifle were rare in the mountains.
Too dangerous to be tracked and found out, Dan, the foreigner,
the Westerner and infidel, the man who came to help and who
turned out to be a traitor? No fucking way. All he could have
done - was what he did. To have his presence acknowledged
by uttering the Russian greeting, and to listen and watch
the beating.
Hours
passed, Dan remained carefully hidden close by, behind an
outcrop of rocks where he had stashed his bergan long before
the three insurgents had arrived, taking their captured prize
to the water. He'd noticed them from miles away, those damned
natives would never learn to be stealth fighters. Now watching,
waiting again, still for the same man, but this time the stakes
had been upped and a whole new deck of cards had been handed
to the very few players. Hearts or spades; he'd take the cocks
instead.
Dusk
fell, and Dan was ready to go, watching the group around the
fire. The prisoner - still with his head covered - slumped
and seemed more dead than alive. It would get fucking cold
soon, was well below freezing, but he counted on the Russian
and his physical strength. He'd make it, had done it before.
Finally,
one of the Mujas stood up, left the fire, rolled up in his
coat and a blanket, close to the Russian. Towards the edge
of the cave, seemed they avoided the darkness at the back.
Damn.
Dan frowned. None of the other two started to move, the bastards
continued to sit and talk. He noticed the Russkie's head fall
forwards and his body slump, and Dan knew he could not wait
any longer. Bad sign. He was betting on dehydration and weakness,
maybe shock due to extensive bruising. A few more hours and
the Russian would be useless for what he needed him to do.
Dan climbed
out of his hiding place between the rocks, started to make
his way in, torturously slow belly-crawling towards the cave,
took the long way round from the back, until he finally, after
what seemed an eternity, came close enough to touch the Russkie.
He was hidden in the shadows, shielded by the other's body
and the cold, moonless night. Darkness. His friend.
"Silence."
In Russian. Whispered into Vadim's ear the moment his hand
clasped over the hood, judging where the mouth should be.
*
* *
Vadim
jerked awake again, had started to dream something, couldn't
bear waiting anymore, had been sweating and nervous about
the fucking bullet that never came, now felt something touch
his face, restrict breath. Could feel himself shudder, slowly
shifted his weight, moved his hands, yes, reached out with
his fingers, almost numb as they were, tried to touch, tried
to understand whether it was Dan and whether he'd come to
kill or free him. He nodded.
Dan felt
the nod, those fingers moved, sensed the tension in a body
he was getting to know as well as his own. "Wait. Don't
move." Breathed into the other's ear.
Vadim
touched Dan's thigh, needed to calm himself, needed that touch,
full stop. Wait. What if, whatever Dan planned, went wrong?
What if he started to hope he'd be free and then it wouldn't
happen. Fuck.
Dan's
hand slid slowly off the hood, froze at a shuffle and a sound
right beside him where one of the Mujas was asleep. Remained
absolutely still until he was sure the man had settled back
to sleep. Heard the other two were talking over there at the
fire. Good, no movement nor recognition from them. His hand
crept to his back and touched the sheath that housed his most
trusted knife. He'd only have one go at it, and it had to
be silent.
Moving
again, barely visible increments in the darkness, until the
shape of the sleeping man became clearer. There. Head, neck,
shoulders. Throat.
It was
quick. Swift movement, flash of the blade and the razor-sharp
assault knife cut through tendons, trachea and part of the
spinal chord, almost severing the vertebrae. Death. Silent,
except for a faint gurgle, and swift. No agony, just death.
Nameless. Shapeless. Meaningless.
The two
others were still talking. Dan waited. Watched, back to the
old game of patience, cleaned the blade on the Muja's coat
before silently sliding back, once more to the Russian. Cutting
through the knot that tied the hood to the other's head. "Do
you function?" Toneless whisper directly into the ear.
Vadim
nodded, could smell the blood over his own smell of fear and
pain. "Positive", he breathed, raised his hands
a little to present the rope, wrists pushed apart. His ribs
were alright, he was only hurting, not seriously wounded.
He hoped. No, he'd have noticed that.
The hood
slid over Vadim's face, was silently discarded, the knife
severed the rope between his wrists, while Vadim's eyes got
used to the star- and moonlight again, the reflection of fire.
The darkness was gone, he could see. His left eye twitched,
it was pretty badly swollen, but his sight was decent.
A steadying
hand appeared between the Russian's shoulder blades, applying
a firm pressure. "See the Mujas?"
Vadim
nodded, rubbing his wrists, spread his fingers, checked whether
all tendons were good, stretched his legs, too, slowly shifted
into a crouch. Fuck, he was hurting, but his body geared up
for the kill.
Dan moved,
everything agonisingly slow, silent, got the second knife
out, pushing it into the other's hand. "Blade's shorter."
Figured it was all the Russkie needed to know. Special Forces.
"I take the right. You the left. No guns, no bullets,
no detection."
Vadim
nodded, assumed the dushmans would be blinded by the fire,
would much prefer his pistol, his rifle, or a garrotte, take
one prisoner and torture the fucking life out of him. His
lips moved into a feral snarl, the hatred pushed pain and
exhaustion to the side, grew and surged. He shifted his weight,
began to move in a circle, to flank and strike and kill.
Dan moved
into the opposite direction - silent progress; silent attack.
His second kill was as swift as the first. Painless except
for the moment of terror in his victim, when the blade entered
the body, sliced and severed, taking the man from life to
death. He was pushing the lifeless body to the ground, when
a sudden frenzy of motion and sound caught his attention.
Vadim
appeared right out of the darkness, up to the last heartbeat
didn't know whether he'd only wound or kill, but he was in
a shit state, mentally most of all, and there was nothing
he did want to know, so just made the bastard grin and gurgle,
and hacked the knife into the body, down through the shoulder,
again, and again, kicking him, hitting him, the knife went
in and in, blood splattering into his face, on his chest,
the rage just tore free, and he wanted to reduce that body
to nothing, to fucking nothing. Minced meat, and he screamed
with rage and anger and pain, all the fear came out, the pressure,
Platon. Kept the knife but went to his knees again, exhausted,
pain throbbing in his face and chest and shoulders.
Dan stood,
motionless, watching the entire show. He didn't have a fucking
clue what was going on in that madman's mind. Cleaning the
knife, he pushed it back into its sheath. "He's dead.
You can stop now." Shook his head, looked at the mutilated,
still twitching copse in disbelief. "Talk about overkill.
You Russians are fucking weirdoes."
Vadim
stared at the ground, thought he'd break down, but he just
breathed through the parched, raw throat. Wanted to scream
more, wanted to cut the bastard open and see his guts gather
dust on the ground. Breathed. Slowly extended a hand towards
sanity, pulled himself out of this state that wasn't healthy,
wasn't sane, looked up to the other, not quite comprehending,
moved a couple yards to get to his pack, his gear that the
dushmans had brought. Found his canteen and poured the water
down his throat, swallowed, felt he could never drink enough
to not be thirsty, gave his stomach a few moments to deal
with the water. "Fucking hate bitches
"
"I
can tell." Dan replied coolly, wiped his hands, hardly
any blood on them. He'd been professional, cold, felt somewhat
disturbed at the other's reaction. Watched him drink, his
own breath curling in front of his face before he bent down,
rifling through one of the corpses' clothes and bags. "We
need to get rid of them. Enemy warlord, all that crap. Make
it believable." He kept some of the weapons he found,
but most of the stuff was useless tat. Prayer beads, Arabic
writing, Koran. He didn't want any of that. "And get
washed up. Fucking madman."
Vadim
looked up. No way he'd tell the bastard that they had kicked
and treated him like a fucking dog for the last days. "Can
help you carry. Ravine? Or bury them." Hard work to bury
here, with just stones. But yes, didn't exactly want to attract
buzzards. He drank more, poured water into his hand to wash
his face, noticed the cuts burned, the bruises that hurt when
he touched them. Not a pretty sight. Stood, swaying on his
feet, wiped the knife and tugged it into the empty sheath
in the small of his back.
"That
was my knife." Dan raised his brows while rifling through
the last of the corpses. Kept everything useful, threw anything
discriminating into the fire.
Vadim
grinned. "Past tense." Always good for a grammatical
joke.
Dan shrugged,
he had more than two knives. "Ravine. There's one close
by." Shaking his head at the other's unsteadiness. "Forget
it." The fire gave enough light for a few steps, he'd
get the bodies out of sight, to be disposed of in the morning.
"You look like shit even in the darkness. Get the gore
off you, I do the rest. It's fucking cold and I could do with
some body heat."
Vadim
nodded, staggered over to the water hole, pulled water up,
then undressed to wash. He was getting sick of his own stench,
uniform, everything dirty, grimy, bloody, just being fucking
alive meant to crawl through dirt and get dirtier by the minute.
He hated the stubble in his face, his hair was too long, too,
wanted to get shaved and clean and began to wash, blood, sweat,
shit, everything, kept washing, would have loved a bath, sauna,
or an extended swim because nothing else made him feel so
clean.
Dan shifted
the first body onto his back, across his shoulders, trotting
off to drop it behind a rock formation with smaller boulders
nearby. It would have to do. Just had to wash the blood off
the plateau before the sun brought out the stench.
After
washing his uniform, Vadim spread it out over rocks, hoping
to catch some warmth the next day, then wrapped himself in
one of the blankets, wool, smelly and scratchy, watched Dan
carrying the corpses while he sat near the fire, soaking up
warmth and trying to wind down.
Dan was
throwing buckets of water across the rock until he was satisfied
it was clean enough until dawn when he could take a proper
look. Stripped out of parka, tunic and shirt, started to wash
himself. Blood on his clothes, mainly from the butchered one.
"Thought
you'd shoot me."
Dan turned
his head, shivering in the freezing cold. "I had to let
you know it was me. Had to use Russian. Couldn't use anything
else without raising suspicion."
"Yeah,
makes sense." Vadim clung to the canteen, drank more
water, could feel his body soak it up.
Unlacing
his boots, Dan stepped out of them, the socks, then finally
the trousers. Freezing his arse off, teeth chattering. Cold
water and steaming breath, a bloody uncomfortable combination,
but he had to wash whatever he could.
"Been
waiting ten days." Cleaning his cock, shrunk into itself
in the cold, the usual attention on the foreskin, his back
to the Russian.
Vadim
glanced at the ass in the light of the fire, saw the dark
arms, bowed neck, the other was touching that cock, and he
smiled, lips swollen, dry, cracked, but he smiled.
"Colour
me surprised when you came with company." Dan turned
round and smirked, drying himself with his shirt.
"Not
sure company's the word", Vadim murmured and forced himself
to not look towards the bodies. "They gave me run for
my money." He touched his face. "Not exactly great
fans of my masculine beauty, those three."
"You'll
look even worse in the morning."
"Thanks."
Vadim shook his head, looked up when the other came close,
crouched down and studied him in the fire, the embers prepared
to last the night. Found it hard to answer that gaze. The
Brit had risked his life, saved it, most likely, again, and
Vadim felt a shudder course through his body. Somehow, the
other always ended up with the upper hand in these mountains.
"Makes
a change. It's not my fault." Dan prodded the Russian
to shift and let him under the blankets. It was cold. He was
freezing. If he didn't get warm he could be dead by the morning.
Necessity.
Vadim
let the other have the space he'd been heating up, naked himself.
Wanted to touch him, wasn't sure what he wanted, wasn't sure
it was sex, not quite sure he could be horny after this, too
tired, no, shaken, wanted to lie there and stare at the sky.
He lay on his back, stretched his legs out, raised his hands
to look at the wrists. They'd look less raw in a few days,
feel less tender. "No, not your fault", he murmured,
belatedly. "For once, eh?"
"Aye,
for once." Dan let out a sound of pure pleasure when
he felt the heat seep into his skin. Stretched out, then turned
onto his side. Comfortable, the ground padded with some insulation
the Mujas had left. Dark eyes studying pale skin as he rested
his head on his elbow. "Didn't mean for this to happen."
Dan paused, felt this odd sensation of
guilt. "Had
no idea they were in this area. Too many fucking tribes and
warlords."
Vadim
dropped his hands behind his back, elbows shielding his face
while he fought the twitch in his face. He should be able
to deal with it. Had been strong all the time. The last hours,
though, while he had waited for the bullet, that had gotten
to him. Nodded, inhaled deeply, then opened the elbows and
rested the back of his head on his crossed arms. "My
fault. Not paranoid enough. Not nearly enough." Too tired.
Too defeated.
Dan reached
out, his hand rested on the other's abs, under the blankets.
Felt heat creep from the skin, feeding it back again. "How
long did they have you? You look like a fair few beatings
at least."
Vadim
looked down at his body, tensed the muscle to keep that weight
there, nice and snug. "Two days. Like weekend with in-laws,
eh?" Tried a smile. "Bad food, and they hate you."
Nodding,
Dan's eyes narrowed, could just about imagine what it had
been like. "I don't take kindly to those who try to take
away from me what is mine." Quietly, surprising himself,
then falling silent, moving even closer until skin was pressed
against skin, sharing every ray of heat.
Vadim
turned his head, gave a smile, wanted to put an arm around
the other, like he'd done with Platon, winced at the thought,
but then, it was about warmth, right?
"I'd
take your mind off," Dan murmured, "if you think
it'd be successful. Feel all the shit is kind of my fault,
even though you followed your cock, like I predicted. But
fuck, so do I. Every time."
Vadim
didn't want to think about it, his face pulsed and hurt, and
he reached out to the canteen and drank more, needed to get
more water down to make up for what he'd lost. "All's
fair in war, eh?" He turned, facing the other, pulled
one arm from under his head and pushed it under Dan's head,
hand to the back of his head, pulling him closer, close enough
for a kiss, wanted to rest against the other's chest and thought
how fucking stupid, no way he could get that from the Brit,
he wasn't a child anymore. He didn't need this.
Resistance
in Dan's body, sudden tension, surprised at the closeness.
Forced himself to relax slightly, nestled-cradled in the other's
arms. Strange. Wrong. Confusing.
Vadim
released him, cursed himself for trying to get that close.
"Ah, fuck. Take my mind off it. Fuck me. Whatever. Get
me tired."
"Fuck
you?" Dan shifted, looked straight at the Russian, trying
to figure out if he'd lost his marbles or had just been simply
fucking crazy all along. "Does that mean you meant that,
a month ago?"
"Yeah,
that's
what I meant." Vadim swallowed, closed
his eyes, felt almost embarrassed. Had offered again. Seemed
he had to finally accept the fact that he wanted the other
to fuck him.
Dan frowned.
"How can you want that. That
thing."
"Because
it feels good", Vadim murmured. "I
like it.
I'd have to tell you how to do it, and we'd need something
like
oil, but I like getting fucked." His jaw
muscles tensed. "Not often. Not by
you know. In
army. Can't allow that." Fuck, difficult.
Dan remained
silent. Brows furrowing, thinking. Hard and long, trying to
figure it out. Those Mujas already forgotten. Corpses. Starting
to rot. No space nor time nor feelings for those who were
gone. No thoughts for the dead, rarely for the living.
"If
you like it, and I guess you don't mean the way you did it
to me, then why do you rape men? Plural," Dan snorted,
"Don't think I was nor am the only one." He frowned,
tried to get his head around the concept. "I don't get
it. You doing it for the power? If not, for what else?"
Vadim
inhaled deeply. Fucking complicated. "I
don't
take no for answer", he murmured. "I want them,
and I know I can't have them that way, so I force them. I
don't want
anything long, just get rid of pressure.
It's not always like that, it's risk every time, but
" Platon. He had been getting somewhere else with that
one. Platon had resigned to the fact, had arranged acquiescence,
even understanding, just somehow gotten his head around it.
"And
getting fucked? Power again, but in the reverse?"
"Somebody
fucking me
I don't know. It just feels good. Drives
me insane. It's
different. Gets me deeper than other
way. You know. Gets
under my skin." Of course
deeper. What a shit way to describe it.
Dan's
hand moved along the abs, slid lower. "I understand power,
need, not taking no for an answer, but I don't get it the
other way round." He paused, "I'd fucking kill you
if you tried to fuck me." His fingers tensing on the
other's groin.
Vadim
smirked, took the hand and held it there, for a long moment,
looked into the other's eyes. "Did you ever fuck a woman's
ass? I know a fair deal of men who do that. Heard it's not
that different. I
wouldn't know."
Dan nodded,
hovering between a grin and a frown. "Fucking bitches
were hard to convince, wouldn't give up their precious holes.
Was rarely worth the effort." Especially that last one,
stupid giggling bimbo in her pink thong.
Vadim
moved closer, murmuring into the other's ear. "I heard
guys are tighter, though, much tighter than women can offer.
And I'd be hell of lot more willing to boot." The prospect
aroused him, getting the other to do it. "You don't have
to go gentle, or stop. All I'm asking is your hand around
my cock, so I can cum."
Dan tensed,
every muscle telling the story of his mind, drawn to the prospect
of willingness, anger, power, unleashed strength of a body
that could take it. "You
bitch." Murmured,
breathless, addicted before the poison had been injected.
"I don't understand why the fuck you want it, but I don't
fucking care." His body had decided before he'd made
a conscious decision. Wanted this. No holds barred. Bastard.
"Your arse, my cock. Makes a change."
Vadim
inhaled again, but yes, he wanted that, wanted the other to
try and fuck him, hard, preferably, a hard, intense fuck that
would take his mind off dying. "Yes. I'll be tight. Didn't
have guy like that for what, five years? Already that long."
He released the other's hand, allowed it to roam free, his
hands on the Brit's pecs, running down to the stomach, dead
set on sex now, mostly as an alternative to something he couldn't
have, and what did it matter anyway? Hands ran down to the
groin, then moved on the ground to get his lips around the
other's cock. Only to get him interested enough to perform.
Dan's
detached bemusement at the movement south soon turned into
straightforward want. "Shit." Had been interested
before, now demanding. "Don't you need some
stuff?
You're a cunt, but
," couldn't continue, too much
friction and heat, "
but you don't drip."
Vadim
pulled back. "Yeah. Oil would be good. You got any? Those
bitches took my kit, need to check what I have. Gun oil would
do." He paused, feeling his hackles rise.
"Gun
oil
," Dan lifted his head, looked down at the
shape beneath the blankets, saw the face that looked like
a butchered mess. Smirked, an unpleasant expression. Gun oil.
Remembered. The smell, the feel and the disbelief. "Guess
it's been tried and tested." Reached for his bergan,
right beside his head, rummaged in one of the outer pockets
and produced the bottle. "You want to get fucked?"
His cock jumped against the Russkie's battered face. "You
apply that stuff yourself since you've got experience."
Vadim's
brow darkened, but yes, fair enough, at least it would be
enough oil that way. Opened the bottle, poured the stuff into
his hand, much like he had done back then, could feel his
heart pulse, hard, against his ribs. Shit. Did he really ...
yes. Reached behind himself, rubbed the stuff between his
cheeks, pushed a finger into the ring, didn't look at the
other as he did that, slicking himself up like a whore, whatever,
used more oil, pushed more in, made sure it was enough.
The smell.
Dan's nostrils flared. Memory. Two years ago. Kabul. Heat.
Night. Pain and terror, disbelief. And above all the pungent
smell of gun oil. He watched every movement and something
inside of him was growing restless, awakening. Something,
that made him snarl and bare his teeth when the other poured
more oil into his palm and reached for Dan's cock, oiling
him nice and slow, tip to balls. He had never fucked a man.
Never been sober when fucking a woman's arse, and rarely been
less than pissed when he'd been ramming his cock into a willing
cunt.
Never
as willing as this cunt. He felt tension strumming
through his body, each muscle ready, electrified, wanting
to attack. Slaughter and kill; on the battle field, and
Gun oil.
Vadim
turned around to present his back. Nervous, suddenly, wanted
it and was nervous, after all, what the fuck, how could he
trust him that much; yeah, he'd saved his life, not taken
it several times, thought he should be safe, better than any
soldier of his side.
"No."
Dan shoved against the other's back. "No fucking way.
I've never fucked any cunt's arse other than on all fours.
I won't fuck yours either."
Vadim
glanced over his shoulder. Just fucking lift that leg and
do it. He inhaled, slowly, breathed the anger away. The other
wanted him like he'd do his bitches, bent over like an animal.
Too close for a moment to saying forget it. He rolled onto
his hands and knees, body tense because he was helpless now,
needed all limbs to support his weight, flanks open, cock
easily attacked, and his muscles coiled. Cold. "Relax",
he murmured, meaning more the other than himself, but it was
appropriate, too much so.
Hiding
his surprise when the Russkie acquiesced, Dan got onto his
own knees, threw the blankets haphazardly over their bodies,
preserving some of the heat, never mind how much he'd produce.
Sneered at the sight of the kneeling Russian. Arse, spread.
Body, covered in bruises. Hole, slick with gun oil, like a
cunt. A real cunt. This fucking bastard of a raping fucking
Russian cunt. Dan growled in the back of his throat, kneeling
behind him, taking hold of a flank, the other stroking his
own cock. "Relax, aye. Like you should have told me to,
you bastard."
Gun oil.
Flesh. And a muzzle against his head.
"Don't
tell me you didn't want this, bitch." No preliminaries,
for neither. Dan treated the man like a pussy, guided, found,
pushed relentlessly, half-breached the muscle, sneered, "Don't
ever cry rape, cunt!" Used all his body strength, seized
the other's hips with both hands, bit down on his tongue and
rammed his cock viciously into that arse. No mercy. Bastard.
Groaned and started to fuck like a motherfucking piston.
Vadim's
body tensed, unexpected, completely unexpected, should have
known, fuck, the force hurt less than the words, he was strong
enough to take it, a massive invading thing, like a fist to
the guts, his body rushed into stress, fear, unexpected, coiling
like he was getting beaten up again. Hadn't meant this, had
wanted something else, and still, the invasion worked. Worked
in sickening ways, hit him where he hadn't expected it, wondered
if that was what had made Platon accept it, a deep, sickening
pleasure that had no place here and still existed, he'd wanted
this, asked for it, and the other only took him up on it,
but this wasn't lust, not passion, this was something entirely
dark. And still.
Vadim
groaned, suppressed the sounds after that, just breathed,
forced himself to accept the humiliation, needed all his strength
to move back, greet the thing he should run away from, should
try to escape, but in some fucked up way it was what his body
wanted now. Something inside, something that tried so hard
to break him it could make him forget. Pushed back, face twisted,
as if he was in pain, and he was, in several ways, and still.
Touched him right there, the force told him it was alright,
he could agree to this, a force he couldn't muster now by
himself and merely had to take and endure.
Dan fucked
with all his strength. At first hatred, revenge, with every
thrust forcing his cock into the other's body. Invading, punishing
each time his hips crushed against that arse. Muscles against
muscles, body against body, and man against man.
But he
didn't come. Couldn't. Not in the middle of anger, neither
in taking his revenge, brutalising the body at his mercy.
The body that could still turn the table and rape him again;
that could kill him as much as he could kill in return. Dan
groaned again, sounds torn from his chest; eyes fixed on the
body that fought without seeming to fight. Matching strength
with strength and taking the impossible force despite beaten-up
body.
Anger
and thrusts slowing, hands taking over, roaming. Closer, ever
closer to release with every time he drove forward, pulled
back out of tightness and oil-slicked heat, only to bury himself
even deeper into this damned willing body that refused to
give in, that just took, accepted, but still with that same
strength. Impressed despite himself, in return his hands impressing,
subconsciously avoiding bruises, clutching flesh, kneading
muscle.
Vadim
closed his eyes as he felt the shift, that
impossible
shift that happened with Dan, like the moment of truth when
it had all been the other way round. He understood, suddenly,
physically, understood, and he would have fought the touches,
but they were good now, now that the other touched him, really
did, on purpose, took his cock that was straining despite
the pain, despite the force and because of it.
Dan was
finding his own rhythm. Hand and strokes and arse and cock
and body. Cruelty turned into aggression; revenge into lust.
Fucked him, took him, wanted him. "My
" so
close, fucking close to coming, "my cunt."
Vadim
fell into the rhythm, fluid, body became one, wasn't his anymore,
was the other's, his mind fell into a place where everything
was calm, serene, and quiet, like under the surface of an
ocean. He wanted to reach behind and knew he couldn't shift
his weight that much, instead tensed his ass, moved into the
hand, completely taking what was offered, given, no better
knowledge, no humiliation, he existed in the right time, place,
and circumstances. Everything felt more right than it had
been for ages, something like fifteen years. Or about two.
For Dan,
nothing was swift nor negligent this time. Unlike the hand
jobs, the biting, the quick and angry encounters. Anger, too,
but a physical one, discarding the mental resentment. Thrusts
in sync, riding the new-found rhythm, hard and relentless,
inherently smooth. Cock, hand, bodies, all one, all rushing
towards release, until the sensation of tightness became overwhelming.
The last few thrusts were erratic, even harder, desperate.
Crashed over the edge, suddenly, brutally, letting out sounds
that bore no meaning. Dan was shuddering, gripped by a body
and by release.
Vadim
pushed up until the last moment, couldn't quite come, Dan
came and Vadim loved that, loved the despair in it, the way
the other lost it, but he himself couldn't quite get there,
not physically, so shifted his weight, splayed the fingers
of his left hand wider, felt his shoulder groan as he reached
for his cock and pumped it, hard and fast, just as brutal
as Dan had done it. Came without a second thought, groaning,
head lowered, neck tense, whole body taut, the wet sticky
hand returning to its place to support his weight, but he
couldn't hold it, just dropped to the ground, panting hard,
slick with sweat. "Oh fuck
"
Dan was
too dazed to notice much, just the sounds and the scent of
cum overpowering even the gun oil. Cock far from softening
yet, but slipping out when the body under him collapsed. Didn't
think, just seized blankets, threw them over sweat, sperm,
oil and heat, and let himself fall down beside the other,
rolling onto his back. Breathing. Heart beat racing and aftershocks
still shaking his body. "Yeah
fuck."
Vadim
was on his stomach, hands just near his body, shoulders couldn't
take any more twisting, any more abuse. Body burning, like
embers, to ashes, burning out, cooling, like the sweat on
his body. His ass hurt in a strange way, good at any rate,
but nobody had done it like that
more care, more respect,
tenderness, this was not what people did to him, but what
he did, and he could feel a strange thing, like being vulnerable,
exposed, much worse than a stretched throat under a knife.
Deeper.
Dan closed
his eyes, wasn't thinking. Existing. Sated. Breathing, just
breathing, more than merely physically content. Hand sought
out the other's body, rested somewhere on sweat and oil slicked
skin. Said nothing for a long while, eyes closed.
Vadim
didn't know what to make of the touch apart from remaining
there, close to sleep, but not falling into it. Something
inside was racing, and thinking, realizing things. He liked
the pain. He did like it. He wanted this, had wanted it, from
start to finish. He pressed his eyes shut. Damn you.
Dan started
to move at last, braved his way out of the heat beneath the
blankets, hissing at the sudden shock of cold. Walked to the
bucket, the rag that the other had used, washed himself before
tending to the fire, and taking the freshly wrung rag and
the bucket back to where the Russian was lying.
"Here."
Set them down beside the other, crawled once more under the
blankets. Felt odd. Almost protective. Possessive, as if he
had to take care, now, as if by naming the nameless he had
made it his. His cunt. His Russian. His
if only the
fuck he knew.
"Yeah,
thanks." Vadim sat up, one sticky mess, cleaned up, the
sweat first, felt his body deal with the shock Dan had dealt
it, muscles coiling, testing if he was alright. He was. Washed
himself, shifted away from the wet spot that cooled now, moved
closer, relaxed now and still
something inside him
gnawing on the problem. "Worked for me", he said,
hardly more than breathing.
"I
guessed that." Dan answered, lying on his side, facing
the other. Not a hint of the earlier nastiness in his voice.
"Not sure if I get it, but I guess it doesn't matter."
One-sided shrug, reaching again to the bergan, pulling his
headscarf out, draping it over the wet spot. "You were
right, though."
Vadim
acknowledged the scarf and settled, lying on his back, feeling
his body hot and relaxing, stretched out, arms behind his
head again. "Right? About me being tight?" He looked
to the side, irony in his eyes. "I guess. It's good to
let it all go, control, that shit."
"Aye,"
Dan nodded, shuffled closer. Preserving body heat. "That,
and the other thing. Your body. It can take more. Fucking
amazing." Pulled his face into a grin while reaching
behind his back to search for one of the energy bars. Found
peanut butter and strawberry, dropped the first in front of
the Russian's face, started on the latter. "Can't break
you. Didn't know a fuck could be so mind-blowing."
"Break
me?" Vadim gave a dry laugh, while his skin crawled.
You can't break me because I enjoy it. Breaking would mean
pain, more pain than I can take, but this was all good, too
good, getting off on the brutal force and what would have
reduced most people to tears.
"Aye."
Dan was chewing in the back of Vadim's neck, grinning. "Breaking,
as in girly bimbo china doll and I got to be careful. With
you I don't. You can take it."
"I'm
spetsnaz. Of course I can. I like it rough." Understatement
of the year. Vadim took the bar, glad he could do something
with his hands. "Quite different, eh?" Just shut
up, Vadim, and think. Don't let him know too much. Know more
than he already did? Hardly possible.
"Different
to girls. Better." Dan bit off another piece, savoured
the sticky sweetness. "Even though I wanted to hurt you
at first. Really hurt you." Swallowed, shrugged, "that
changed."
Vadim
drew a shuddering breath. I know, he thought. If you'd had
a knife, you'd have cut me open just to see your cock come
out the other side. Closed his eyes briefly. "I guess
you understand something about me now." How much
I want to hurt, and break, and what I felt for you when I
made you my victim.
Dan's
chewing stopped all of a sudden, even forgot to swallow. "Bull's
eye." Quietly, no inflexion. That one had gone straight
in and to the core. He finally swallowed that last bite, remaining
silent for a long time, so close to the other's body, they
almost touched. Pathetic that token space between them. "I
don't know if you want to get fucked as 'payment' for what
you've done, but whatever it is, I don't want it."
"Not
payment. Not
making
not changing it. I want
it because it feels good." Vadim answered. Because I
can lose myself and don't have to fight. Shivered with the
touch, a good way, intense again, but not sexual. They'd had
that. Something close, but not the same thing.
Dan crossed
the minute distance, said nothing. Body touching body and
skin to skin. Voice barely more than a murmur, his intensity
needed no volume. "Don't fuck me again."
"I'd
kill to have you, still same, I'd lie if I made any promises",
murmured Vadim.
Dan nodded,
forehead lightly hitting the back of the other's head in the
movement. "OK. The rules are clear. You'd kill for my
arse, I'd kill you for my arse. I can live with that."
Too sated to get riled up about anything. His hand coming
up to rest on the other's hip. Had done it before, almost
two years ago. Almost as close as he had been when inside
that body - or closer?
Vadim
smirked. Chose not to mention how good it could feel and that
things could be quite different, if he chose to make them
different. "Rules
rules are good." He laid
back, turned on his side and felt the other closer than strictly
necessary for preserving heat. It worked fine. Naked bodies.
Wool.
Dan yawned.
Tired now, exhausted and physically content. "Will check
your bruises tomorrow."
"I'll
be stiff, but nothing serious", murmured Vadim. "Bones
are fine. We did check that." He gave a toneless laugh.
Vadim
wanted to reach out and touch, felt good now, better, body
realizing it was over, and there was no more danger, no more
things to defend against. That man was like a tropical thunderstorm,
he thought. The very heart of thunderstorms, not the rumble
and flash, but a proper, all-encompassing, world-will-end
thunderstorm. Even better when it had ended.
Another
yawn, and Dan burrowed even closer, without thinking. A body,
heat. Touching. He fell asleep in an instant. Rifle close
by, knife beside his head, chest pressed against the other's
scarred back and his hand resting on Vadim's hip.
*
* *
It was
getting towards dawn when Dan woke up. Refreshed and rested,
a dreamless sleep close to unconsciousness. No thoughts of
the lives they had taken, only memories of a body he had possessed.
He grinned, stretched slowly, revelling in the shared heat,
which made a bloody difference from the previous ten nights.
Reluctant to rouse the other, he crept out of the blankets,
tugged them back down around the sleeping man and slipped
into his clothes. It was bloody freezing out there, but he'd
got used to the climate. The mountains had become a friend,
a dangerous one, no longer an enemy.
Stoking
the fire, he refilled the battered tin pot he used for cooking,
prepared it to boil with a handful of tea leaves and a large
chunk of honey comb he'd managed to get on one of the villages'
markets. He'd prefer coffee, but the sweetened tea would have
to do.
Dan was
careful, convinced they were alone but checking the grounds
before tending to the corpses. Sure, the other had offered
to help, but he preferred to deal with it himself. The battered
Russkie needed sleep more than carrying a blood encrusted
corpse that was begging for flies once the spring sun spread
some warmth. He was still wondering about the way the fucker
had freaked and stabbed the Muja like a madman. Whatever.
Figured it was because all of those Russians were crazy bastards.
Dan carried
one lifeless body after the other, disposing all three in
a deep ravine fairy close by, while thinking of the night
before. Couldn't get his head around the idea of wanting to
get fucked, become the bitch of another man and willingly
turn oneself into a dripping cunt, but hey, he didn't argue.
Wanted that body again.
Damn.
Dan returned
to the cave, checked the sleeping bundle beneath the blankets,
shrugged with a grin and took a good long piss before going
on shovel recce - without a shovel. Wouldn't do any good digging
a shitting hole into the rocks. Had found a comfy sport instead
that kept smell and sight hidden, and the flies away. Once
back at fire and camp, he stripped down to his trousers and
boots, thoroughly cleaned his hands, washed his face and chest
and figured he'd do the rest later when it got warmer. Shrugged
back into the parka, didn't bother with a shirt, and checked
the water. Good, the tea was merrily boiling away.
He poured
the honey sweetened brew into his one and only tin cup, Dan
moved towards the blanket bundle, crouched down, grinning
with teeth bared. "Oi, sleeping beauty. Wake up."
Waving the tea in front of the other's nose.
*
* *
The smell.
Wet hot smell, steam. Ground hard under his elbow, ribs, hip,
knee. Sunlight. Late. Vadim came round, felt like he had to
shake off a blanket of lead, emerged. First glance went to
the wrist, no watch, the Volkov had been taken. Later than
five. First time in ages that he overslept.
Hadn't
dreamt, was grateful for that, it would have been about being
beaten up or about the gaping, black hole in Platon's neck.
Vadim looked at the mug, then the wrist, the grinning face.
Right. Sat up and scratched his neck, hair too long there,
could feel his body protest, inside, and shoulders, and thought
fuck, that's what I did to take the dreams away. He nodded
and took the mug, blew on it. "Sleeping who?"
"Beauty."
Dan smirked, sat down on the ground on a corner of the blanket,
legs crossed. "Seems you overdid the make-up somewhat,
princess. Especially the blue-black and green eye shadow.
Oh, you should do something about that swelling. Isn't a good
look on anyone."
Vadim
glanced up. "Yeah. That makes me Princess Aurora and
you would be Prince Desire. Fuck you." Tchaikovsky. Ballet.
The Sleeping Beauty. He'd rather die than admit he had liked
ballet in a time when his father had tried to drum some culture
into him. Taking the Bolshoi with him on Afghanistan tour
was just not an option. One of the things that were better
left at home. He'd always wondered about that story though.
Absolutely stunning girl, asleep, not awake, and all the guy
did was kiss her when he could have it all? No fucking way.
Dan laughed,
let the other drink before holding his hand out to have a
sip himself. Precious, the sweetened tea, he had meant to
keep the honeycomb for a special occasion. Yeah, fuck, seemed
this was one. They weren't trying to kill each other on their
'first morning'.
Vadim
brought his hand up and touched his face. Okay. If he looked
as bad as that felt, he'd look pretty bad even in a week.
His skin always did the whole colour set, black, blue, purple,
several great shades of red. "Could use bag of ice, just
bit late for that."
"I
can still get you some." Dan shrugged, gestured with
his chin towards the rocks. "Might not do much, but better
than nothing. You'll need a damn good story to explain your
pretty looks." Smirked again, took a few sips of the
tea, handed it back.
"Close
combat, got a rifle sandwich for my troubles, but I killed
them. Spetsnaz are just that good." Vadim snorted.
Dan nodded,
glancing towards the back of the cave. "I got rid of
the Mujas. Everything worth anything is stored over there."
Vadim
had some more tea before standing, walked over to his packs,
found the spare pair of uniform trousers, a pair of socks,
and his boots, got halfway dressed, then walked up to the
dushman's stuff. Any kind of ID would be interesting. Dug
into their kit, plenty of beef jerky, dried fruits, rolls
of Afghani, one of which he pocketed, tossed the other on
the ground.
"Expenses",
Vadim murmured, found a bag of raw opium, weighed that in
his hand for a moment. "Bakshish." He tossed that
on the ground as well.
Dan was
watching, eyes growing narrower with every item that came
out of the packs. He had a fair idea what they'd contain,
but fuck, he'd been careless. Should have checked them first.
Idiot, Dan, bloody idiot! Ruled by your cock just as much
as the other.
Vadim
dug deeper, touched paper, felt like
a map. Notes on
it, an old Soviet map, probably prospecting map, they were
still using these, based on last century's maps. "Shit."
A bundle of letters, papers, looked like correspondence, stuff
for warlords, tribal leaders. Jackpot. Glanced up to check
where the Brit was.
Dan stood
and walked over. "No fucking way."
Vadim
put the map down, breathed. Stayed relaxed, because that was
the only way he had a chance to surprise the other. I'd hate
to kick some sense into you, he thought, and that thought
shouldn't be here. This was still work, and if he could return
with a prize like that, he'd come home as a victor. Could
jump him now, could attack him, wrestle. And then? He stood,
took one step back to get into neutral distance. "I need
those." Should fight for them, he could win.
Dan shook
his head. "You want to get me killed?" Eyes narrowed,
immediate change from grinning, relaxed bloke to steel-sharp
special forces soldier. "You take that map back, the
letters, and what are the chances the next time I deal with
my Mujas, turn a corner, only to stand in front of a whole
troop of bloody Russians?" Shit. Shit! He should have
checked the packs. His own fault. Fucking idiot. Body tensing,
readying for the fight, set to win. "I want to survive,
dickhead. You take that stuff, chances are I'm dead."
Vadim
felt strange to see the other bristle with determination.
Valid point. Both. "Could check what's in them",
he ventured, slowly, offering a treaty. One problem: He still
didn't know enough of the language. The other could trick
him. Probably would trick him. One thing to fuck, another
to be stupid. He stepped away, offering the pack, sat down
on a nearby rock. "Had my dose of smashed face for week.
Lucky you."
Dan nodded,
the tension remained, but disaster avoided - for now. Taking
the pack he started to read the missives, frowned more with
each of them, shook his head. Getting to the map, he checked
over the remarks, comments, pointers and names. Tilted his
head, thinking, folded the map back up at last, turning towards
the other. "Take the map. It has information, but nothing
that would get me killed." Perhaps others, but hell,
he didn't give a fuck, wasn't their keeper.
"The
correspondence is off limits. Knock me out when I'm asleep
or beat me unconscious, take the letters and have them translated
and next time you want a fuck you'll have to use a piece of
my rotting flesh as a hole, or fuck yourself on a smashed-up
bone instead of my cock." He walked over, dropped the
map in the other's hands, holding the letters and notes in
the other. "Understood?"
Vadim
took the map. The KGB would love this. Then glanced at the
other's hand. Instinct fighting instinct, would love to get
his hands around the throat of the sniper that had shot Platon.
"Burn the shit", he breathed, speaking Russian.
Because I can't promise I won't try to take them. This way,
I'm not even tempted. This way I can't think I should have.
"What
else do you think I had intended." No more words. Dan
turned instead, threw the first letter onto the fire, the
others swiftly following. Watched the Russkie's movements
from the corner of his eyes.
Vadim
folded the map and slipped it into his pocket, then stood
again, glanced up at the mountain, and began to climb in the
search for ice and snow. Three hundred yards, a nice morning
exercise. It was cold up there, and his chest was pounding,
hurting in the thin air.
Dan stood,
bare chest wrapped into his parka, hands in the pockets of
his camo trousers. "What the fuck do you think you are
doing?" Shaking his head, watching the half-naked Russian
in the snow. "Butt-fuck crazy Russkie!"
Vadim
took two hands of snow, a thin layer of dust covered the snow
here so close to the rocks, scraped the dirt off, placed his
face into the cold. He was fucking freezing, but boy, it eased
the pounding. Cold water ran down his wrists, and he allowed
the cold to bite and then to subside, cooled his face, then
washed his chest with snow, cooled the bruises, then started
with his face again. Wouldn't make much of a difference, the
injuries were too old already, but never mind. Should have
cooled the worst with a knife blade. Shit.
He sat
down, shivering, used more snow. If he was the bitch, he'd
do what the other wanted. He took it up the ass, meant he
was the bitch, right? Not so simple, somehow, even when it
was. How far away was that from treason? Allowing him to burn
military intelligence? "I'm in trouble", Vadim murmured,
tossed the melting snow away and began to walk back.
Dan was
sitting on one of the packs, close to the fire, drinking tea
and preparing food. He had given up on the obviously insane
fucker, who'd been spending all the time lying in the snow
instead of scooping some up in a bucket. Looking up when Vadim
reappeared. "Eat." Didn't mention anything else,
just pointed to the dried fruit, nuts, beef jerky and the
bubbling tea.
Vadim
was starting to feel warm, still wrapped a blanket around
his shoulders. "Yessir." He gave a dry huff, took
handfuls of the stuff and began to eat. "Which tribe
are you working with? Pashtuns, right?" Paused, looked
up, surprised he would actually ask the question. But then,
how much could he prove when he returned? As long as it wasn't
about tactics and locations - and they already knew a fair
deal about the tactics.
Dan shook
his head. "I don't want to talk about my orders with
you. The less you know the better, alright?" Taking a
handful of nuts, offering some to the other while chewing.
"They
hate everybody, those fuckers. Russian, Soviet, British. If
you don't do allahu akhbar and aren't blood-related, they'll
cut your throat", said Vadim.
"Whoever
I work with isn't too bad." Dan shrugged, conveniently
forgot the dozen or so of times when he had thought he wouldn't
make it out of a warlord's territory alive. Sometimes brandishing
letters and names and having local knowledge didn't work.
"They let me be and vice versa. Simple rules, if one
of their women saw any of my naked flesh while washing, I'd
probably not manage to get the soap off before I'd find myself
cut into strips." He grinned wryly. "Strange world,
but it's theirs, not mine. Got to accept that while I'm here."
Finished off the tea, before he suddenly started to laugh.
"I sound like a fucking politician. Truth is, I personally
don't give a shit about those goat-fuckers and their fucking
beliefs, but I do follow my orders."
"Then
it's orders that are wrong. You westerners try to make this
hell for us. Europe and America. Just look at any map. Europe
and Asia. Connected, right? There's nothing between Slavs
and Europeans, just
open plain. Made it easy for tanks,
but also keeps mind open."
"Bullshit."
Dan shook his head. "You make it as much hell for us
as we make it for you. You and your ultimate neglect of human
life." He shrugged. "Seems I don't even give a shit
about that either."
"That's
not what I mean", said Vadim. "American continent.
Oceans east and west of it. They live in their own little
world. Not connected. Very far away."
Dan threw
a handful of nuts down his neck, chewing. "Americans
are fucking arsewipes. Friendly fire and nothing else, but
that's me, a British squaddie talking. We're not quite cheek
to cheek, despite what you think."
"My
point is, they can't understand Asia. Last time they tried,
was Vietnam."
Dan was
stoking the fire. "You got a point. They don't, we don't
either. I don't even understand you. Out of curiosity, do
you understand me?"
Vadim
smirked. "You speak my language. That's start."
He reached for the dried fruit and rolled a piece of apple
between first finger and thumb. "And I speak your language.
I had culture classes. Information is limited, but I've seen
movies. Read books, for authentic language, to keep my skills.
You must know about Soviets. You can't learn a language without
understanding. Concepts behind words, thoughts."
Dan shrugged.
"I do." Chewed with delight on a piece of dried
fruit. "And did. Learning languages without learning
what's behind. It's just what I do." Shrugging again,
he stuffed a couple more fruits between his lips. "Does
it matter?" Speaking with a full mouth.
Vadim
regarded him for a minute, let another pass. They did these
things without understanding them? It was like playing chess
without understanding the mind of the opponent, playing it
without soul, purely mechanical. The game didn't matter to
them. It was about winning. This man hadn't been trained to
do this, it was an accident, him knowing Russian. "Guess
it doesn't matter", he acknowledged. "Many ways
to go to Rome, yes? How did you pick up Russian? It's
difficult." Vadim stood and moved even closer to the
fire, a cold in him that was difficult to get rid of, his
sore and swollen flesh demanding rest, above all else.
"Well,
aye, it's not quite like that." Dan swallowed another
round of fruit, then went for the dried meat, stewing away
on the fire. "Not with Russian anyway, though it's pretty
much as I said."
Vadim
looked up, quizzically.
Dan realised
he was talking in riddles and suppressed a smirk, trying again,
wiping his lips before looking at the other. "I have
this knack. I hear languages and if I hear them long enough
and get a few pointers they kind of make sense to me. That's
why I understand and speak Pushtu and Dari. Comes easy, it's
like fucking." He smirked, "not something I ever
had to learn."
No, the
strength and the force was all there, thought Vadim, and felt
a shiver course through his body. How odd. Comparing a language
to something the body did, not the mind. I picked up Russian,
I fucked a Russian - that was what it translated to. He rubbed
his arms over the blanket, tried for some friction to get
the blood going, but it felt sluggish and dark and slow in
his body. Exhausted. Healing.
Deciding
that the meat was just fine, Dan fished a piece out and began
to chew, thoughtful for a while, but still watching the Russkie.
He could see how cold the other man was. "Russian was
a bit different. I went for books, tapes, the lot. They told
me I'd get more interesting missions if I'd become fluent."
He shrugged, "so I did." Finishing off his meat,
pointing to the rest, trying to get some of it down Vadim.
Vadim
nodded. "I learnt English for Montreal. Chinese at officer's
academy. Tadjik in my last posting. Some German at officer's
academy, but I don't use it, so it's leaving." When Dan
finished off the meat and offered him his share, Vadim didn't
feel hungry, knew he needed to eat, and found it hard to bring
himself to do it. He shouldn't talk that much. He was behaving
like a faggot, really, the kind of effeminate bastard that
spilt the beans after sex. Still enemies. He found it hard
to believe himself, slipped too easily into trust. "I
will eat later", he murmured. "Tea would be good
now."
Dan wiped
his lips again, nodded and pointed to the pot. "Tea's
been boiling for a while. Got another piece of honeycomb,
should be sweet and strong." He tilted his head, studying
the other with increased intensity for a moment, then moved
off his pack to crouch beside the fire. "You look like
shit." Poured the tin mug full of the sweetened tea,
handed it over. "Death warmed over, except, that you
don't seem to be particularly warm." Baring his teeth
momentarily into a semblance of a grin.
Vadim
cradled the mug, soaked up the heat. The mockery sounded like
banter. Nothing aggressive about it. Nothing too bad. He grinned
back, eyes narrowing a touch, but he just couldn't help thinking
how that same easy-going guy had fucked him. That intensity.
Dan stood
up, smirking. "I'd suggest another fuck to warm you up
but A I'm beat and B you don't seem to be up for it."
Vadim
swallowed, wondered if he was up for it, in theory, in practice,
pile more pain on top of this last one, more on top of the
beating. "I'm not much of challenge right now."
Didn't like the thought, at all. Offering was one thing, the
inability to defend himself something different. If he was
the bitch, that meant the other called the shots. When, where,
how. He couldn't accept that. Even though he wanted the sex.
"Maybe tomorrow. We can rest. Share
heat. Just
that. Heat."
Dan spotted
another mug tied to the outside of Vadim's pack and bent down
to get it. "What," he smirked, "snuggling?
Like poofs, girlies and faggots do?" One thing to fuck
a man, another to want to hold him, touch body, share heat,
feel skin. Want. Fuck, no.
That's
it, thought Vadim, realizing it with the closest thing to
horror. He wanted touch. Wouldn't get it. Wouldn't ask for
it, and it wouldn't just happen. Why? He knew, of course,
being demoralized, hurting all over, face, body, ass, forfuckssake,
only touch he'd get was that man pounding against him. "Didn't
say that."
"I
thought we were about fucking, mate, not cuddling."
And I
thought we were about survival. Vadim snorted. "We have
shared heat before. Nothing new."
Dan shrugged.
"That was different." He was back at the fire and
pouring himself a tea. Couldn't help but notice how cold the
other was.
Vadim
drank the hot tea, body tense and pulled together to preserve
heat. But he was cold from inside - everything that wasn't
a throbbing mess was cold. "How much time do you have?
I'm on patrol, officially."
"I
have as much time as I want." Not quite, but it felt
like it. "Your patrol, how much time is that?" Dan
went back to his bergan, sat down once more and sipped the
strong, hot liquid, glancing over. That man was shivering,
even trembling with cold. Body heat, aye, he could do that.
Just not like faggots did.
"A
few weeks. Map will help explain what I did. As long as I
make up good story for each day, I am safe, but I need to
cover distance, will be expected to be at
somewhere,
eventually." Remember to keep things vague, Vadim. "Will
have to march faster." Yeah, beaten up and fucked like
you are, Vadim thought. Couldn't get warm. Think warm thoughts,
yeah, how fucking funny. He just hoped he hadn't caught something,
an illness, a fever, hoped it was just the body's response
to the bruises. He'd kill to be able to sweat it out in a
sauna.
Dan sneered,
"In your state? You'd make a great Oympionite, as fucked
up as you are." Steadily working on his tea, he welcomed
the caffeine buzz and the honey was exactly what he needed.
Sugar-rush, he'd never get enough of that.
Vadim
drank more tea, then settled on the ground, almost curled
around the fire. He didn't care. Couldn't care. It was getting
warmer, he was starting to sweat, but there was still cold,
too much of it. Sleep it out, he thought.
Dan shook
his head after a few minutes, finished his tea and stood up
unceremoniously. "Faggoty or not, you look like shit
and you're going to kill yourself in the mountains if you
don't get back in shape. Who would I fuck with, then?"
Nodding towards the cave and the pile of blankets. "Want
to get warm? Come on, then."
Vadim
forced his body up, took the blanket, gathered his bergan,
more dragging than carrying it, but that was where knife and
gun were, and followed the other. Dan never looked back, but
stopped near the entrance, waiting for him to get settled.
Dazed, Vadim wondered about the closeness, the proximity,
and whether the other would fuck him for it. Not much he could
do about it, not in his state, but he couldn't allow it, not
when the Brit was in control. He lay down, laboriously, face
turned towards the open space, bergan under his head, blanket
around his shoulders, legs pulled up. Who would I fuck
with, then. Who indeed.
Dan was
still standing, still watching, and still debating a few things
that he figured he shouldn't want nor like and sure as fuck
not actually do. But this was about survival, and what if
the Russkie died? Not easy to find another fuck in this place.
The Afghan mountains weren't really a teeming market of willing
male flesh. "Right, then." He dragged his own bergan
close, set it behind the other's head. As good a pillow as
any. Getting down onto his knees, he pulled the second blanket
close and wrapped it around himself before shuffling behind
the Russian, figuring it wouldn't do any good if he stayed
too far away.
He ended
up so close, his entire front was pressed against Vadim's
back, the blankets tightly around them. "What the fuck
am I going to do with my arms, now?" Dan muttered, awkward,
there wasn't any way he could rest his arm except on the other
man. Shit, that looked and felt to all intents and purposes
like cuddling after all. "Whatever." Muttered again,
dropped his hand on Vadim's flank.
Vadim's
eyelids, too heavy, opened when the hand came to rest there.
His arm was under his head, the other crossed in front of
his chest, minimising surface. The other body felt warm, and
was too close, too much like sex. Too much like forcing him
to turn onto his stomach, spread his legs and fuck him again.
No. He'd said he was too tired for it. The cold slowly subsided,
his aching muscles relaxing, and the dizziness and throbbing
remained, but it worked already. Body against body. Platon.
Not dangerous. Katya. Not about sex. He forced himself to
breathe slowly, deeply, counting his breath. "Not
volunteering for any watch", he murmured, feeling relaxed
enough to begin drifting off to sleep. His body demanded the
rest. He healed best with plenty of rest. He had enough sense
to reach and find his knife in the open bergan, and pull it
close to his chest. Just in case. Just for anybody surprising
him in his sleep.
Dan sniggered,
shook his head in the confines of that odd embrace. "No,
I can see you're too fucked, and it's definitely not the good
kind." Shuffling even closer, eyes fixed on the back
of the neck. Murmuring into the other's ear, lips tickled
by short shaved hair, "And for that knife, if I really
wanted to kill you, you'd be dead before you could even wield
it." A rumbled chuckle.
Vadim
was awake again. Breath against his ear did that. Staring
straight ahead. The body. The heat. Liked it too much. Couldn't
even think the word sleep now. Too intense. "You believe
that, but I have good chance to kill you, too, before I'm
dead." As long as there's no gun involved. Hand to hand,
knife to knife. A moment of intense claustrophobia. Trapped.
Dan was about to say something, an aborted sound from his
throat, when Vadim half-turned to face him. "Don't believe
just because you fucked me means I'm losing my pride. Not
happening. I'm spetsnaz, never forget I can kill you."
Hoped he sounded calm, neutral.
"Huh?
What the fuck are you on about, Russkie. You having a chip
on your shoulder a mile wide?"
Vadim
swallowed the words, something about not taking insults, then
realized, yes, he was tense about it, pride wounded, and he
was irrational in that state. At least he was warmer now.
Still, he kept misreading banter for aggression. "If
you think so."
Dan frowned,
the other's face so close the sharply cut features were blurred.
"Just shut the fuck up already and get some sleep. You'd
be fucking useless in your state against me. You want to start
being a cry-baby about the fucking? Doesn't suit you."
He patted the hip, exhaled exasperatedly, "Get some sleep,
spetsnaz. SAS is taking the watch."
Now,
much, much better. Not 'Russian cunt', not 'faggot', or 'bitch',
or 'suka'. Spetsnaz. It was a glaring contrast to what they
were doing, but it was acknowledging the other's regimental
pride. SAS is taking the watch. No violence. No unpleasant
surprises. Two soldiers, nothing more. "Yeah. Good night,
comrade." He turned around again, settled back on his
arm and inhaled deeply, counting his breath till he could
fall asleep.
*
* *
Dan couldn't
quite pinpoint when he'd fallen into a snooze, but it must
have happened sometime between morning and noon, because the
heat of the sun woke him. That, and discomfort of having lain
in the same position for too long. Sun, heat, and a body pressed
against his own. Opening his eyes, he stared at the back of
the other's neck, about an inch before his face. Burnt skin,
tanned deeper than the pale-skinned Russkie was ever meant
to be; shaved hair, straw-coloured, sun-bleached stubble growing
up the back of the head. Dan blinked, shifted slightly, brought
his face even closer. That scent. Damn, he wanted to bury
his nose into the scent of sun, heat, skin and man. Tasting
the sweat and biting the flesh.
He did
nothing. Just blinked again. One thing to fuck a man - another
to kiss his neck.
Vadim
had slept like the dead, had dived deep, deep into leaden
water and wouldn't have minded not waking up. But he still
woke up, felt sore, but alive, awake, felt the other's breath.
He reached lazily down to scratch his stomach, glanced back
at Dan, wondered something, wondered if there was more sex
in it for him, fuck his pride, it was an opportunity. He moved
back against the body, bridging a gap that wouldn't have allowed
a fist to move between them, back against chest, ass against
groin, legs against legs. Maximising heat. Get the most out
of the time they had.
"That
would work better if I weren't dressed." Dan delivered
his dry remark in a low, raspy voice. Still wondering when
he had slipped from taking watch to taking 40 winks. His hand
moved. Slow, lazy, creating a snake-like pattern up and across
the other's chest.
"Which
reminds me." Vadim smirked at that, his own hands moving
to his trousers, opening them, fuck, for the other, pulling
them down over his hips, baring his body down to his thighs.
Dan's
eyes grew wide, and still he did nothing. Just moving his
own body with the other's when necessary. The Russkie hadn't
just pulled his combats down, had he? Wasn't right now wiggling
his naked arse against his groin? Dan's hand flattened on
the other's chest, resting between the pecs.
Vadim
reached behind him, slid the flat hand against Dan's groin,
tracing the bulge inside the BDUs. Yes. There was definitely
another round in it for him.
Damn.
Dan inhaled, forgot to exhale again. The crazy bastard was
doing exactly what Dan thought he was doing. Remembering to
breathe, but his rumbling voice had a strange new tone to
it. "I take it you want to get fucked."
Yes.
No. Fuck. Why not simply do it, why talk? Why make him aware
that he was offering, offering like a bitch in the barracks.
No. Never that. Vadim's hand tightened on Dan's cock, and
he glanced over his shoulder into those dark eyes. "I
can see how you made special forces. You're one quick thinker."
"Ha
ha, very funny." Dan grumbled, for no longer than half
a second. That hand on his cock spoke a language which made
him lose his own.
Vadim
grinned, needed to stay playful, taunting, banter, banter
was not aggression. He stretched his neck, and gave a smile,
at the same time squeezing the other's cock, his balls.
Dan froze.
Whatthefuck? That smile, that wasn't planned nor programmed
and sure as hell didn't belong into their little arrangement
of insanity. "Not sure what you want
" murmured,
staring at that smile, slowly deciphering what the hell that
smile meant, and ending up with cryptic messages all over
his brain. No sneering, no smirking, no threats and no anger.
Just a smile. Holy fuck. "But whatever that is, I can
assure you
" he twisted his hips further into the
hand, voice no more than a murmur, "it's exactly the
right way to get it."
Vadim
laughed, felt the other's body obey his touch. He turned around,
to have a second hand, and pulled the belt open, opened the
buttons to free the other's cock, growing fully hard under
a bit more squeezing. Wrapping his hand around it, he looked
into the other's eyes, touch firm, tight, his own body ready,
wounded and beaten up, but ready. "I wouldn't mind repetition",
he murmured in English. Couldn't, wouldn't say 'fuck me',
that was Gavriil stuff, even though he could feel the tension
inside, wanted cock, wanted the other pounding into him. Shit.
One taste of it, and he was hooked all over again.
Dan said
nothing for a moment, didn't even move. Like a beetle not
quite on his back but just as helpless with that hand around
his cock and a promise of a repeat of the mind-blowing sensation
of fucking a body that could take as much of his cock as it
could take of his fists. Breathed in, slowly out, then suddenly,
"Where the fuck's the gun oil."
Vadim
reached for his bergan, found the gun kit, fiddled with it
one-handed, found the bottle, opened it with teeth and hand,
poured some oil into his palm and opened his legs, pushed
two oiled fingers inside, then glanced at Dan, curious what
he'd see in that moment, and what he saw was breathlessness
and eyes that had grown even darker. A face, betraying with
shallow breaths and parted lips that Vadim's actions reached
deeper, touched lust, and released want.
Vadim
pulled his fingers out, took more oil, slower now, more deliberate,
and again pushed the fingers inside, but slower, almost sensuous,
felt a stab of lust, and smiled, running that slicked hand
over his own cock, making it jump.
Dan was
undone. Lips moving, no sense nor sound. Hard, harder and
wanting, more. Had never seen anything so arousing. No pussy,
no gyrating hips, no bouncing tits; nothing and no one before
had got into his mind and cock so intensely.
"Fucking
hell." Dan murmured, voice shaking, hand trembling, cock
jumping against his belly. "Want to watch." Hand
moved, covered the other man's, both hands on Vadim's cock.
"Want to watch you fuck yourself." Pleading, begging,
more, fuck, more of this, this
this mad thing. Man.
This something that turned him on like nothing before.
Soldier.
Spetsnaz. Special Forces. Killer. Sniper. Enemy. And shameless
whore.
Vadim
suddenly couldn't breathe. Being taken up on the tease. He'd
done this, sometimes, pretended it was one of his few lovers.
Masseur. Hungarian fencer. Increased his own need when a normal
jerking-off couldn't take off the spike. But he needed to
be safe to do this.
"Please."
He was
safe to do this, Vadim realized, and it was another shock.
It wasn't safe, nothing about this man was safe. Hand on his
cock. The need in those dark eyes. He had his hooks firmly
in this man, finally in his mind, reduced him to begging.
Almost better than having him beg for his cock - but not quite.
He moved slower, focused on the pleasure more than the oil,
how his body reacted, the tensing of muscles, breath going
harder, but still toneless.
No sounds
from Dan either. Nothing but accelerated breathing, harsher,
louder, and the blood in his ears, as deafening as the echo
of a shot in a cave. He took his hand away from the other's
cock, minimising the touch to maximise the effect on his other
senses. Smell; gun oil. Sight; the Russian's flushed skin,
moving hand, oil-slicked fingers. Vanishing inside the body,
creating reaction, and action. Sound; silence.
Vadim's
eyes half-closed, still looking at the other, reading the
desire on Dan's features, which made him grin, and increase
the speed, fingers rubbing the place that made his cock jump
and his balls go heavy, the feeling going up to his throat,
making his heart pound. Silent. Couldn't allow sounds. Wanted
cock. Wanted the pounding, body against body, wanted the strength.
Wouldn't ask for it, swallowed dryly, face twitching with
what he felt, lips open, body moving against the pleasure,
an instinct more than trying for a good show. Not like Gavriil.
He was in control.
Dan's
eyes moved from hand to face, fell onto the heavy balls, glistening
cock. Darkly flushed, hard. Hard. Fucking loved that hardness.
The sight. The taste. Eyes moved back up to the face that
expressed more than the other might think.
"Throat
or cock." Three words. Intention clear. Dan's hand on
his own cock, stroking. Would come sucking; or come fucking.
Both,
thought Vadim, feeling coherence slipping away, watching the
other touch himself, kicked off the camo trousers to get rid
of the last bit of uniform, now the only thing that was still
Red Army was the pair of dog tags. "Cock. No hand. Can't
come without." Hoping the other would suck him
off and finish it, after giving him a good pounding. He pulled
his fingers free, body shivering in the cold and shuddering
with need, and was about to turn to get on hands and knees.
"No."
Dan moved, quick, his free hand coming to still the movement.
"Stay." For what? Not clear, just felt, not knowing.
That face, watching every twitch, hear the breath, see the
sweat and how the pale blue eyes darkened, it was fucking
erotic. No, hot. Horny. Lust. Erotic was for pussies.
Vadim
paused, not sure what to expect, but remained on his back,
knees open, legs bent, idly stroking himself, one elbow supporting
his weight, his slicked up hand pulled the foreskin to cover
the tip, as he watched Dan get to his knees, placing one hand
flat on his chest, pushing backwards, and Vadim relaxed on
the ground, stretching out.
Dan had
never fucked a girl's arse other than from behind. But that
face. Had to watch that face.
Ah, knees
up, thought Vadim. The way Vanya liked guys, on their backs.
Had liked. Gavriil liked that position, and that was the reason
why he rarely ended up in it. Had ended up. Vadim smirked
at the other's cluelessness. "That works. Fucking strain
on lower back, but should manage."
"I
know, arsehole." Dan's breathless voice was raspy, dark.
Flashed a grin, let go of his cock, took the other's legs,
pushed them upwards. "You'll just have to manage."
Barely more than murmured.
"I
guess", murmured Vadim with a half-grin.
That
body. Laid out, massive, beaten and bruised but still impressive.
Muscled and sharply angled. Like his own - yet different.
Smooth. Dan knelt, stared, the other's body open, vulnerable,
but never defenceless. Sharp intake of breath, then moved
between the open legs, that arse was oil slicked, didn't need
any for his cock, and guided himself. Wanted to ram, punish,
force, brutal, but shook his head. Fuck, no. Held back, right
there, in breach of the muscle, stalled, minute push forward,
sliding, breaching.
Vadim's
hands formed fists - slow. Slow. Control. Slipping. No way
to move against that, too much weight held him there, his
own, and Dan's. The heat invading, crawling in, heat and size.
Feeling
the Russian's body shudder, Dan raised his head back up to
meet the other's eyes, wide and gleaming with need. Smirked.
"Thank fuck you're no girl."
The observation
intrigued Vadim, and speaking meant he could mask the groan.
"Why's that?"
Dan bared
his teeth in a feral grin, said nothing, pushed forward hard,
entered the body, tight, heat, groaning out expletives.
Knees
pushed up towards his chest, Vadim could do nothing but take
the force, no burning, no pain, instead, unclouded, unmixed
lust, pure and simple, no fear, no guilt, that cock nothing
but his fingers in a different way. In control. Wanted this,
kept wanting this, and the other just delivered, lust, desire,
need, and Vadim's lips opened, the groan did escape, felt
too good.
Heat
and tightness, fucking that body again. Dan felt lust and
aggression, not hatred. Needed too much, wanted. Greed. Body.
Man. Hand gripping the other's shoulder, fingers digging into
bone and muscle, the other finding leverage on the ground.
Knees protesting on hard stone, but the pain just added that
kick. Stared at Vadim's face, eyes, facial expression, mouth,
always drawn back to those lips. Parted, panting. Fucking
wild, hard, with vicious lust. Dan groaned, sweat running
from his neck and chest, dripping onto the other's body. Fuck.
Fuck this was it, harder, faster, more and more, clenching
his teeth or he'd let out sounds of greed and too much motherfucking
need.
Close.
Not close enough. Vadim neared the edge, caught up in the
sensations, strength, more, just as he liked it, more brutal
than any of his lovers, they had been gentle, because he was
young, and inexperienced, then, or they had not been not strong
enough to test his body like this. How ironic to find it with
the enemy. Finally closed his eyes, let go, control, thoughts,
whatever, felt the force wash through him and into him, felt
the other come, hard, and couldn't join him there, on the
brink, where he'd wanted to be, now needed to get further.
Dan was
panting, dizzy, short-changed of oxygen and shuddering with
lingering sensations. That fucker was addictive. That body,
not any body. Male. Goddamned male and more beyond. Brutal,
violent, killer, soldier, enemy, and the best cunt he'd ever
had. His mind blown to pieces by the paradox. Strength and
passiveness; power and taking it up the arse. He couldn't
get his mind around it. To have possessed that man. That bastard.
Vadim
felt Dan's sweaty body against his legs, his shoulder, hands,
force, cock, still inside, panting, weakened, not in control,
his, his in so many ways right now, then Vadim began to push
him off with his legs. "I'd
appreciate
some help."
"What?"
Licking sweat off his upper lip, Dan raised his head. Took
a second to get clued on, then nodded, slipped free from the
tight heat, softening, and feeling pathetically bereft. Like
an addict, on cold turkey immediately after the last shot.
Still
on his knees, Dan shuffled backwards, twisted, lowered his
head, stared at the weeping cock and could feel the greed
for the taste in the back of his throat. Loved that cock.
Cocks. "Cocksucker." Murmured, smirked, then pushed
his head down and as much of the full length down into his
throat as he could. As ruthless in sucking that cock as he
had been in fucking that arse.
Vadim
grinned at the other's self-deprecation. If he got a kick
out of it to think that of himself. Fine. It only took him
that - the sight of how his cock vanished between the other's
lips, the expression of willingness and concentration, heat
and tightness, and he came, like a switch had been flicked,
that fast, sensation splitting him from groin to brain, shooting
down the other's throat, willing, welcoming, wanting this.
Dan's
reflex was to swallow, too deep down his throat, he'd hardly
been prepared when Vadim came. Almost choked, but got it this
time. Swallowed, quickly, a couple of times, then moved up,
licking along the shaft, lingering to lap the cock dry. He
lifted his head, smirking and watched the Russkie pant, spaced
out. "As I said, cocksucker." Grinning smugly before
reaching for his nearby bergan, had a pre-rolled fag stashed
somewhere. Didn't bother to pull his camo trousers back up,
should give himself a wash in a moment.
Eventually,
Vadim could breathe again. With that, thought returned. Amazing.
Great sex. Fucked up to find this here, under these circumstances,
with the most unlikely person in the world. He rested back,
regarded the Brit, sated and heavy as the anaconda. "What
did you mean? About girl?" Lazy curiosity.
Dan found
the cigarette, lighting it, sitting with knees close to his
body, trousers tangled on knee height. "Girls want the
big show, the lies." Taking a drag, he grinned, exhaling
smoke with his next words. "That, and they're too fucking
fragile, but I told you that yesterday."
Vadim
nodded, rested back on his arms, stretched out, warm, relaxed
enough to fall asleep. "Yeah. I can't try and put ring
on your finger just because we had some fun." He glanced
up, about to continue that train of thought, joke about women
starting to cling and clutch after a night, but the joke died
in his throat. Firstly, Katya had done nothing like that,
and secondly, he didn't want to pursue that thought.
Dan sneered.
"And you can't get pregnant. That's a bloody good bonus."
Smoking his fag, focussed. He didn't have much tobacco left,
hated to be hung out and dry. "Besides, that ring shit?
I swore when I joined up never to marry. Damned bloodsucking
bitches. Shag a guy, whine long enough till he's stupid enough
to marry her, then whinge and bicker and bitch until fucking
off, having fucked themselves through the entire camp, from
senior ranks down to juniors, and finally take him to the
cleaners." Baring his teeth again, mixture of smirk and
sneer with added frown. "I fucking hate those bitches."
Vadim
smirked. "That must have been tough. Hating them, and
still chasing skirts."
Dan rolled
his eyes, muttered something about having no idea how bloody
annoying it was.
Vadim
yawned, reached for the blanket and pulled it up to cover
himself. Too sluggish to think about cleaning up or anything.
He'd do that after he'd rested. "My wife
is very
different. She made decision, she protects me. I'm officer,
I need to appear normal."
Dan's
brows rose. "You sound like a wuss to me."
Vadim
assumed a 'wuss' was a weakling. Couldn't know, and wouldn't
ask. "You have noteworthy talent to cut short conversations
before they happen."
Shrugging,
Dan looked down at his bare feet, starting to feel the cold
but ignoring it. Realised while watching the cigarette burn
to a stub that even for his standards he'd been an arse. "OK,
different tack. How the fuck have you been getting away with
being a fag anyway? I'd be chucked out, dishonourable discharge,
if they'd know I'm shagging a man."
"Being
homosexualist is illegal. I'm breaking law. I'd end up in
prison, and definitely in my rank. Not high enough to weasel
through, not low enough to not make example of me." Nevermind
the Vympel machismo, or the fact Vadim was technically KGB.
"I've fooled them. I fooled their assessments, questions,
and I married. Two children. Beautiful wife."
Stubbing
the cigarette out on the rock beside him, Dan looked at the
other questioningly. "Then tell me, how the hell do you
get away with fucking in the barracks?"
"They
can't speak about it. They don't want to be known as guys
who took it up the ass. It would mean the others would do
same. Do you know what 'grandfathers' are? Their word is law.
In addition to that, I'm officer. They can't touch me."
Vanya, who had learnt the rules quickly, and enjoyed it, Platon,
whom he had actually protected. Gavriil, whom he'd kept out
of the worst. And struggling bodies pressed into the mattress.
Dozens of those.
Dan's
eyes were darkening with every word, brows drawing together,
body tensing. "I know grandfathers. I studied your goddamned
glorious Red Army. You're my fucking enemy, already forgotten?"
Actually,
I had. Vadim inhaled deeply. But no way to escape the truth.
Only that the truth was more complicated. But how to explain?
Dan stood
up abruptly, trousers falling down to his ankles, stepping
out of them. He turned round, presenting his back while walking
to the fire. Swallowed his words. Anger. Disgust. And the
accusation that the Russkie was nothing but an institutionalised
rapist. "Bastard." Under his breath while busying
himself with water and rag. Washing. Washing the bastard off
himself; the rapist whose arse he'd just had. "What a
fucking farce." Dan murmured to himself.
Vadim
thought he should lie. Should profess guilt. One victim that
had become more than a struggling body in the night. He ruined
it every time, Vadim thought, watching the other, anger in
every motion. You're spetsnaz. What's a little violence there?
I can't change the system. I need a way to get off without
ending in prison. He wouldn't tell him about Platon. It was
still too close. Gavriil didn't matter. With Vanya, too, it
had been different. Vadim tried to push it away and sleep,
but it didn't work. The other's resentment itched.
Dan finished,
shivered, being damp in the cave was too bloody cold. Cold,
magic word. What was he going to do, sleep with the enemy,
cuddle up with a raping bastard or freeze his balls off? He
shook his head, looked for the food instead. Didn't glance
over to where the Russian lay in silence. "I got beef
jerky and dried fruits. You should eat. Still look like shit."
Ignorance
and ignoring. Pretending. Had worked with the British Empire
for centuries, why not for one Daniel McFadyen.
Vadim
sighed, slipped into his boots, got up, kept the blanket about
himself, and came to the fire. "I guess I should eat",
he echoed, sat down on a flat stone and stared into the fire,
then poured some tea into the other's mug and sipped. It still
itched.
Dan stood,
naked, bare feet freezing on the rocks and pondering if he
should give up being a hard man and just get himself some
clothes, when Vadim spoke.
"One
guy. He's into men. Was my driver for few months. Kept him
out of trouble." Vadim kept his eyes on the dark surface
of the tea.
Dan stopped
in mid motion while dishing out food, glanced over. Finally
looking at the other man. "What about him." Flat.
"No
need for violence. No other grandfather for that one. He was
lucky. Safer option for me, too. Just in case." Vadim
looked up. Hope for - what? Absolution? Understanding?
"So,
he was your whore. Aye?" Dan started to move again, finished
putting food on a tin platter, shoved it over to the other,
right under Vadim's nose. He was freezing, obviously so, but
he'd be buggered if he was going to do anything about it right
now. "And that makes your glorious Soviet Union 'glorious'
exactly, how?"
Vadim
took the plate, looked at Dan's chest, then higher. Wanted
to offer the blanket, or a place on the stone. "State
has nothing to do with it." He offered the steaming mug
after another sip.
"No?"
Swapping plate with mug, Dan cradled the hot vessel after
taking a sip. "It's the state that makes the laws."
Frowning, glancing around. One blanket, and that one blanket
was draped over the other. Fuck. Still standing. "I don't
know the full extend of the law in Britain, just that fucking
with a man gets me discharged. Shagging an enemy? Holy fuck,
I'd end up court marshalled."
"I'd
end up with bullet to my neck. Resisting arrest. Job hazard."
Shit. Given too much away. KGB would clean house, after the
torture, of course.
Dan froze,
thinking. Took a large gulp of the tea, letting the steamy
bitterness replace a different acid inside.
Vadim
set the plate down, then stood, pulled the blanket off his
shoulders and placed it around Dan's shoulders, who was looking
at him with ill disguised surprise. "Guess, we're both
fucked. Better make it worthwhile, then?"
"Aye."
Dan nodded. "Guess I'm the lucky one between us."
He took one corner of the blanket with his free hand, lifted
it and gestured with his chin to the other. "One blanket.
Cold cave. Two men. Both doomed. Best share the warmth."
Vadim
smiled. "Yeah, let's do poof thing." He gave a laugh,
Dan let out a snort, but Vadim turned serious when he picked
up his food. "You know, it doesn't mean we're doomed.
They won't get me alive. And you're safe unless you do something
that they can prove."
Dan shrugged,
walked back towards the make-shift bed with a packet of nuts,
the refilled mug of tea, and sat down, wrapped in the blanket,
leaving one half free.
Vadim
moved back to the cave as well, ate a few bites on the way,
set the plate down and waited for the other to lift the blanket.
"Go
on then, poof. No point in freezing our arses off." Dan
flashed a smirk, "I rather like that arse of yours. Especially
with something in it."
"Yeah.
Shit-stabbing ain't so bad, huh?" Vadim grinned and sat
down, leaning against his bergan, covered his legs and abs
with the blanket and put the plate onto his knees. Chewing,
he murmured "I'll be sore as fuck in couple days."
"From
the beating or the fucking?" Dan picked some fruit, pushing
them between his teeth, mixed with the jerky. The heat from
the other was welcome. "In the case of the latter I suggest
to make it worthwhile."
Vadim
nodded and swallowed a bite. "I'd almost forgotten beating.
Not important. Usual stuff." He waved it off. "Ah.
More worthwhile? I already thought you performed quite nicely."
Dan swallowed
and grinned, washing the food down with some tea. "Well,
I guess I got the jackpot. I get to fuck arse and suck cock.
What else could a man want?" He let out a short stab
of laughter before getting more of the food down his neck.
Vadim
grinned. No need to set the other on edge with indicating
that getting fucked was just as nice. "What else indeed."
He smirked, manoeuvred a bit of dried peel from between his
teeth. "Shit, I guess, I'll always remember this war
for strange Brit I met. Limey. Tommy. You're strange man,
Dan. You know that?"
"Me?"
Dan huffed, swirled the tea in the glass. "I'm not strange.
I'm so fucking normal I make the Kremlin seem like a space
ship."
Vadim
smirked again. "Little grey men? Damn. That's what they
are. Aliens."
Dan couldn't
help it, he laughed. Not the manic one, the but a full-out
belly laughter, almost spilling the rest of the tea. "Didn't
know you could do humour, Russkie."
Vadim
laughed, too. From sex to anger to laughter. That man made
his head spin. "You haven't seen Brezhnev. Or Andropov.
Or other old men."
Dan handed
the mug over, fished some more fruit from the rapidly emptying
plate. "Thinking about it, I guess Mrs Thatcher is a
fucking alien as well, and the whole British government to
boot."
Vadim
smirked. "Can't say I follow your news much, but I take
your word for it. Her hairstyle is clearly designed to withstand
falling a-bomb blast."
That
was it, Dan didn't need anymore than that and he burst into
laughter, laughing so hard he choked on some of the food he
had just shoved into his gob. Coughing, spluttering, doubled
over and still laughing, like a far too grown-up kid who'd
just read the stupidest joke on a Penguin chocolate bar. "Oh
fuck." Barely able to bring out the words, coughing,
"The more their hair's like a helmet, the more upper
class they are."
"Good
to know, in case I travel there. People that are dangerous
are ones with kilo of hairspray."
Doubling
over with another coughing fit, Dan's eyes were watering from
it all, and Vadim slapped him between the shoulder blades.
"And your Brezhnev looks like a carp." Dan was opening
and closing his mouth, breathing like a fish.
"His
Eyebrowness?" Vadim held up a finger. "There's joke
I heard. Goes like this: "Glorious Soviet leaders Stalin,
Khrushchev and Brezhnev are traveling by train. Suddenly,
train grinds to halt. Stalin is first to try solve problem.
He orders that engine driver be shot for sabotage and he deports
co-driver to Siberia. Train doesn't move. Then it's Khrushchev's
attempt. He brings co-driver back from Siberia and tells him,
"You've been away for long time, but try to remember
which controls do what." Engine driver can't and train
doesn't move. Then, third, Brezhnev tries. He orders that
all blinds be drawn across windows and that passengers start
rocking back and forth in their seats- so train feels like
moving." Which was a pretty accurate snap shot of the
political situation, come to think of it.
Dan snorted,
wiping his eyes, the laughter was turning into a grin. "If
you continue like this you'll have to provide some vodka to
keep me from choking."
"Sorry,
no vodka. I was travelling light. Next time, yes?"
Dan moved
closer, unthinking, seeking body warmth. "While we're
at it, a personal question." Out of the blue and delivered
with a bared-tooth grin. "Do all Russkies have no body
hair?"
Vadim
paused, then grinned. "Only ones that don't like it and
can get enough razor blades to keep smooth. From my swimming
days. And it's more hygienic."
"Fuck,
no, you'd never get me to do that." Dan was running a
hand over his sparsely haired chest, then down along his thigh.
Dark hair, not a bear, but definitely hairy. "I'm a bloke,
blokes are supposed to be hairy."
Vadim
snorted. He really preferred it that way, even the hair on
his head was only a concession to the military style, but
the sides of his scalp and his neck were shaved, definitely
the face. More hygienic, certainly that.
Dan finished
off the last bit of beef, chewing while glancing sideways.
"Not saying it doesn't feel good, though." Said
too much, rolled his eyes, hid the discomfort behind a boisterous
smirk. "You're as smooth as pussy, but with a cock and
muscles. Suits me well."
"As
pussy?" Vadim laughed. "You haven't seen aunt Olga."
There was no aunt Olga, of course. "But then, she doesn't
qualify as pussy anyway. Maybe forty years ago."
"Better
than pussy and definitely better than your aunt Olga."
Dan waggled his brows, felt a strange sense of ease, wondered
if he shouldn't be wanting to bash the fucker's head in. Enemy
and all that. Russkie. Bad man. Killer. Shit like that.
"You're
insulting my aunt Olga?" asked Vadim, mock-serious.
Dan shrugged,
grinned. "Skin, I mean. Girls have soft, smooth skin.
They do that powdering and perfume shit, can't stand that,
but their skin feels good."
Vadim
smirked. Ah, hard training, hours and hours of swimming, sauna,
oiling the body, resting in warm towels, sweating, washing
again. They had treated him the best and he had looked the
best in Montreal. Anoushka's skin. Porcelain complexion, pores
so small they were invisible. He shouldn't think of his daughter,
not in the mountains, not in a war.
Dan started
to stretch, closed his eyes and prodded the other's ribs to
make him lie down. A soldier could never get enough sleep
when they had the chance. "Yours is better."
Strange
thing to compliment him on, but Vadim smiled, oddly touched
by
by that
affection? He laid back, head resting
against the bergan, thoughtful. One of them should keep watch.
But then, it was really, highly unlikely they would be found,
asleep. What if? What if the Mujas showed up? Vadim checked
his pistol and kept it between their bergans that served as
pillows.
"Wake
me when it's time to fuck you again." Dan grinned, closed
his eyes. Strangely relaxed. It could all be different in
a few hours. They were still mortal enemies and he didn't
trust the Russkie from blanket to cave mouth. But now, now
it was time to rest, and what better than to rest in safety
and warmth. If they were to kill each other, they'd better
wait till the morning.
Vadim
smiled, wanted to run fingers through the tousled mess of
hair, to feel what the forehead felt like, and formed a fist
instead. No. Too risky. Right after sex, maybe right before
sex, but not now. It would bleed the relaxation out of this
man, faster than a bullet wound.
He spied
the round scar on Dan's shoulder, the scar that belonged to
the gun that was just a breath away. He leaned against the
bergan, close enough to the other to be warm, awake enough
to guard, to look out at the stars, the impossible deep dark
blue of the Afghan sky. Maybe another day. Maybe two, even
three. He needed to take what he could. He had nothing to
squander.
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